Self-Worth - Are You Worth $20?

Cleaning Lady Syndrome - Don't Ever Get Caught With It!

Cleaning Lady Syndrome? Heard of it before? I've certainly seen it around, but only after reading a Jewish publication recently (see below) did I realise just how far out we've gone. Far out - in doing whatever we can to make sure others - no matter how hard they work - are not entitled to live.

In Israel, when all else fails, and one is unable to get a job - even working in something one is well qualified for - one often resorts to the norm of the Israel economy. One becomes a Cleaning Lady (even if one is a man!) There's a general rule about minimum wage (a concept that teaches that legally one should pay an amount equal to an accepted standard - instituted by a group of people who nobody actually ever knows about. This often entitles bosses to make large profits while the employee must work daily for - literally - his bread.) 

Then there's a broader concept of the individual who wants to progress. Call it Capitalism! The minimum wage - around 20-22 Shekels per hour currently (allowing for a full-time job income of around 4000 Shekel) allows one the opportunity to rent a one bedroom apartment and pay one's taxes. It doesn't allow for much more - and in fact often puts one in debt - even before eating - one's bread!

The Cleaning Lady has moved up a level in society and "demands" almost double the minimum wage (apparently an accepted amount by most people). Should she have the opportunity to work 6 days a week - 8 hours a day (all practically impossible - as nobody is actually able to work this way in the Cleaning Lady industry) - she would come out with sufficient money to rent her apartment, pay her taxes and purchase the basic food she needs to live. If lucky enough - she'd even be able to afford bus fare to get to work and back!

Most people never consider the reality of this. We've come to live in a society where our paying others is frowned upon for any honest work that the other does. It's become a society where we take as much as we can at the expense of the other - who must surely pull their weight in giving something to the world. It's a society where we feel the other must be put in their place as to their lowliness - at the advantage of the exploitative employer who may demand practically anything from the employee - all for the amount of a piece of bread. There are indeed known organisations who hire rabbinical teachers to teach at their "offices" without payment. Sure there is money - but those attending pay the organisation who receive the wealth for themselves while the teacher is given the "honour" to teach for them. Volunteer organisations abound - with "employers" demanding work from the volunteer for no pay at all - just for the privilege of being able to tell others that they "have a job!"

The letter below - sent in to a widely circulated magazine in Israel - was one that truly showed its colours. I wondered why the publisher had chosen to publish it, and wondered if they actually agreed with it's thoughts. Either way - that's their decision, because we live in a free society. A society that is entitled to express itself practically any way it chooses. I guess the hardest part in all this, is working out - that if indeed we do live in a society that allows one to express oneself as one wishes to, how come we are not entitled to charge honestly for the work we do (by the very people who expect the right to free-speech?!)

It's not the Torah approach to life - which encourages a healthy lifestyle of paying honestly for work done. The Torah demands not just giving charity, nor helping one's fellow when they are in dire straits. It demands respecting the other for the efforts they put in to doing a hard and honest job. Should they require money to live, or dare it be requiring money to pay for bus fare - shouldn't we at least be prepared to accept the basic necessities of the other?! Or should we simply get together and force others to kneel at our every request - so that we may live as we wish to - with our own wealth, while the other be brought down to the lowest levels of life - and heaven forbid, give up on life altogether due to a lack of money just to live...

The "Cleaning Lady" in Israel is often a very educated person (many times a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant or even occupational therapist!) Not only are they to be respected for their education and their other contributions to society - they are too be thoroughly appreciated for the tremendous effort they go to (back breaking - very often) of keeping our homes clean when we need that time for ourselves to attend to our own lives. What a shame the writer below could never appreciate this!

The comments below leave a lot to be desired. They reflect this most sick condition in our society - The Cleaning Lady Syndrome. It's not a syndrome the Cleaning Lady has - it's a sickness very often found in the head of the employer!

Tu B'Shevat: Become an Artist! Become a Circle Drawer Today!

!!!ט"ו בשבט הגיע חג האילנות

Tu B'Shevat has arrived - the Festival of the Trees!!!

Man is a tree of the field (Deuteronomy 20:19) Man and trees are very much interlinked. It was through a tree that man entered a new phase of life as he was sent out of the Garden of Eden. At the same time - one of the most mystical sets of books written - the Etz Chayim by the holy Arizal - brings life to those who understand its mysteries!

There's much to think about regarding the value of a tree - and the value of another human being. As we see the beautiful trees of the field, let us be reminded of the beauty of others. As we value the importance of water to trees so that they bear fruit for us, so too may we value our giving to others so that they too bear fruits for all others to enjoy too.

Enjoy this delightful video clip of a famous teaching in Masechet Taanit. Become a circle drawer today. Become a Choni. Just be sure to bring happiness and goodness to all those "trees" in need of the waters you may be able to provide.

How Easy it is To Forget ( +Video Clip)

We're living in tough times. It seems like everyone today is stressed. How many of us are really looking out for others and do we really care? Facebook, Twitter and the variety of social networking tools have become the ultimate places to show just how much we "care"! Those who take these utilities and tools seriously will probably imagine that everyone is doing just great! We're all wealthy, happy and blessed!

Yet the other side stands out only too clearly. Peek in just a little more at the messages interspersed with such apparent positivity, and you'll also find out the disdain that so many have against so many others. And for the lack of "dislike" buttons, you'll also see how so many people actually like the suffering of others. It seems crazy! On the one hand - such positivity. On the other, such anger, such disillusionment, such disgust at so many.

Real life is not that much different. When the baby is born - most everyone is overjoyed with the new "bundle" in the family. A first crawl brings with it such happiness... a first word (Da da, Ma ma) such elation to the parents... First steps bring a joy like no other. There's the first day at school. And then - those special moments life is filled with. But "baby" doesn't last that long, and before long, he's turned into "adolescent" - let alone "adult" all of his own. Many parents change their tune on seeing the "monster" they've brought into the world. What ever happened?!

Friendships are not much different in the way they play out. They too are filled with similar such stages of happiness and glee - which, with time seems to deteriorate into hatred for many - sadly. It even happens with acquaintanceship too. There's good to everyone. There's always difficulties and challenges to relationships. The causes can be anything from money (and total disrespect to the one found lacking) to a change in looks, to a change in life approaches (let alone belief in G-d!) 

Don't ever forget though, we've all been babies. And we've all loved the "babies" of the relationships we've made with others. Don't ever forget, that person who may well be getting on your nerves today, was someone you truly once loved, even delighted in - in those days gone by!

Things change fast, and before one knows it, the terrifying events that one would never expect to another can actually happen in just a moment - changing life itself. It seems then how many regret their previous behaviour of hatred against the other. Suddenly it seems, the "baby" images return. Actually, they never left, they were always there. It's just that sometimes we forget...

Never allow life to cause you to forget what's important. Never allow life to distract you from the wonderful relationships you do have and may have had from many many years ago - even a lifetime itself. It's really not worth it. There is so much good out there. Don't wait, until it's too late... Never forget. Always remember - and let that image remain with you whenever you are around that person you feel so antagonistic with today... No matter if husband or wife, brother or sister, father or mother, son or daughter, friend or even just another human being whom you bump into... Don't forget just how quickly things can change. Don't forget - how you may just feel then. Don't ever let life become "too late..." for anybody.

Respecting Another - Gaining their Respect - and Receiving Honour (+Video Clip)

I found another wonderful video (below article) of some wonderful animals. It seems I keep coming back to them to learn some of the most crucial lessons in life. There are so many "people" around who think of man in the most derogatory of ways, yet they turn to animals in love. Many will donate thousands of dollars to "Save the Whale" foundations and the like, while leaving an orphaned bride to fend for herself. 

Perhaps when I think of this, I myself find myself turning to seeing the wonders of animals in the hope of sharing their lessons to us, so that we can learn to include the beautiful qualities they have, within ourselves. Seeing their beauty should encourage us to behave with each other with at least as much love as many of us bestow upon them. Indeed, the words that G-d recited, "Let us create man" hint to the fact that G-d included all of creation in man. He called all of creation together and brought it all into the being He called "Man." 


On our side, it is up to us to find those beautiful sparks of all creation and bring them out into the world. This may mean turning to a leaf and finding out it's beauty and sharing that part of beauty as a human - with others. It may mean turning to an ant - and finding out it's beauty - and making that a part of our inner being. It may even mean turning to a gorilla - to find out something beautiful about it - to make ourselves just a little more beautiful too! What ever could we learn from a gorilla?!

I wondered about the idea of learning great things from a young person too. How many elderly people would be prepared to humble themselves and learn from a youngster?! I found myself thinking of the gorilla - and a "youngster" by the name of Shimon ben Zoma. Most people don't know him by this name, but rather simply as "ben Zoma" - "son of Zoma." You can find one of his most beautiful teachings in Pirkei Avot chapter 4 Mishna 1. He asks, "Who is honoured?" and answers, "One who honours others!" Ben Zoma was not even called by his complete name, because he was so young, that - so-to-speak, he had not yet gained a status for himself. He was only some 18 years old at the time of saying this statement - and for this reason receives his own honour from his father - Zoma. And yet, he (the "youngster") has something to teach us. It has to do with nothing less than honour and respect! Who would imagine himself listening to such a youngster about advice regarding the subject of "respect"?! But those in the know, know very well that ben Zoma, though just a "youngster" was one of the four outstanding rabbis (together with Rabbi Akiva) who entered into the Pardes - learning and experiencing the deepest secrets of Torah - entering worlds filled - not with gorillas, but with angels!

Ben Zoma can teach us a thing or two about real respect - which as he indicates is about honouring the other. He well understands real respect - because he has seen angels. But what of us (most anyway!) who have never seen angels - but only gorillas?! We need but peak into one story (video below) to see what real respect is.

Imagine it for a moment, a troop of gorillas - lead by "Daddy" a massive beast with a "mean" temper who could probably kill a human with one slap of his arm! They're on their way walking down a path, and you're sitting filming... them! They're just a few feet away. Are you looking to live? If so, bowing your head and not looking directly at the family might be your ticket to "this world." Anything less, could cost you your life! 

Just a little respect to one who is so much stronger can have wonderful consequences though. Suddenly the "baby" comes by and begins to "groom" you... and with love. "Dad" sits and watches just to make sure everything is safe... Later, "Mom" comes by too and she too has some love to give. It even all ends with a kiss... Then it's over, and "Dad" together with the troop leave. Spectacular! Can you imagine the feeling? I mean of being groomed by these powerful beasts of course... On the one hand feeling completely humbled in the presence of "beasts" who can kill with the swipe of their arms. And on the other hand, feeling loved, taken care of, and special. May we even say - feeling "honoured"?

That is truly what life is about. We forget too quickly how great many others truly are. We believe we are already the greatest, that nothing can stop us. We are powerful with large bank accounts to our names, big bodies, attractive and... everything. But every so often, just so easily - something can happen to turn it around. After all, all the money in the world, would not save the man below should he offer it to the gorilla in order that it not hurt him. And all the beauty in the world would not stop the gorilla from any perceived threat to it... Don't forget, "Daddy" is watching...

We are all human, and our most important attribute we could ever own - is to be able to give respect to the other - no matter who they are. To honour them for their greatness - no matter who they are. To respect them because they too might have their own family - or perhaps even just want one! But we forget quickly... 

But what's amazing, what's so special, is not that we give this honour, nor that we show the respect that's actually due. What's really special is that when we do humble ourselves, sit quietly and show the respect where it is needed, we can look forward to good things in turn. We can look forward to the other - one day perhaps, or even right now - taking care of us, "grooming" us and showing us their love. We may even receive a kiss of love - because it was never their intention to hurt. It was only our perception of their being worth nothing...

So the story ends - and we come back to those wise words. Words said by a "youngster" of just 18 years of age. We are not even familiar with his first name. Ben Zoma - the son of Zoma teaches us, "Who is honoured", and he answers, "One who honours others."

For full article see: Wild Gorillas Groom Man During Park Visit

Help Bring Moshiach - Video Clip of the Rebbe

Just a few days ago, we began the new cycle of learning the Tanya - Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liady's magnum opus of mystical teachings, discussing the nature of the soul and it's duty, purpose and challenge in the world. A glance at the first chapters lets us know about souls that operate on the level of "head" and souls that operate on the level of "feet." Souls who must lead others because of their complete knowledge and understanding of how things must be, and souls who must put into action whatever needs to be done.

A Rebbe has a soul of the former kind, with complete clarity of what must be done. Those who lack this particular soul (most everybody else,) have within them the strength necessary to achieve what needs to be done. Nevertheless, the Rebbe is by no means exempt. On the contrary, he is at the very forefront of every activity, leading by example. There are many things he is able to achieve as he leads the way, but even so, there is also a frustrating feeling of realising that there is much more that still needs to be done - by others. After all, feet are much more suited to running - than are heads!

Our generation seems lost in both material and spiritual pursuits, with everybody on a path of "every man doing right in his own eyes," while forgetting the goal. This goal is to bring Moshiach - the real Messiah of the world, who will bring both physical and spiritual redemption to every person on every level they need it. Many feel they are already there. They feel it "spiritually," apparently living the perfect and ideal spiritual life. They even feel it materially - with many being blessed with their deepest most personal material fantasies and whims being fulfilled on a daily basis. But it doesn't take much to actually pause, step back, and realise that we're far from redemption, both on a personal and a global level.

We enter the festival of Chanukah, a time of light. But it's only light because we make it so. There is always the Shamash - the "Master Candle" that lights the others. But then, the real Mitzvah is the candles that burn on their own throughout the eight days. The Shamash is really there only to get things started. When it comes to actual fulfillment, it's important that the individual candles themselves illuminate the world. Even though it may seem like nothing can be lit by itself and the Shamash is needed, we must keep focused on realising that what is most crucial is for the individual lights to bring illumination into the world. The Shamash may always be there, but the Mitzvah lights must take the torch for themselves - and share the light that they have!

Each one of us - this very day - finds himself/herself in trying times like nothing ever before. But it's time for us to take the light that we have inside and to light ourselves up - sharing this beauty with others. "A candle is a Mitzvah, and the Torah is light," teaches King Solomon - the wisest of men. The Rebbe - and all those outstanding Tzaddikim before him - have done everything they can to bring Moshiach, but it seems that he has not yet arrived. He has not yet redeemed us, and each of us, in our own way, feel the pains of the exile - one in which G-d too finds Himself. Now it is up to us, each in our own unique way to increase every day with something great, something new, something kind - never "blue."

Right now, it is time for each of us to take on another Mitzvah. One today - and another tomorrow. Time to increase in our Torah learning and our teaching to others. Time to give a little more. Time to focus on even greater honesty, more care and more sharing the pain and difficulties of others. Should you feel lost in wondering where next to bring a ray of light into the world, check in to Lovingkindness.co, and better yet, bring some light into the lives of those who are lacking redemption - to be blessed with some type of redemption they need - today! Enjoy the video and do take it to heart!

The Compassion of a Cat - a Lesson for Moms, a Lesson for us All (+Video Clip)

If you follow my blog, you'll notice whenever I see a video showing the wisdom of animals, I share it. What does this ever have to do with Torah? Our Sages teach us that we are to learn from everything in life. It tells us that were it not for Torah, we would need to learn from animals. We'd learn about industry from the ant which, though only lives six months, prepares food for much longer (for the generations to come.) We'd learn love from the dove - which has only one mate (and always seems to be with it - have you noticed?!) And we'd learn modesty from the cat.

Of course back in those days, we'd just have to take the Torah at face value as to it's truth. We might however wonder just how much else we could learn from animals. But today, with the plethora of amazing animal videos around, we can turn to these videos made by others, showing the wisdom of animals - things we need to learn ourselves.

The cat may teach modesty - just because of its way of attending to its needs in a modest manner. It's a great lesson to learn - modesty of course! But is there anything else we could learn from a cat?

The video below brings out some beautiful points. It's geared towards moms, and to us all. To those who have been blessed with children - do you treasure your blessing? Always?! When the baby cries, are you ready to soothe it - or do you just sometimes have enough of it all, wishing you could rather sleep longer or just get away from it all?! The real blessing is when we can turn around and see our children for the blessings they are - even when they're no longer babies. Even when they too have started their own families. That care should be impossible to give up.

Even a cat knows how to bring out its internal essential motherly feelings when it comes to the pain of a baby - a human baby - of having to listen to it's crying and wanting nothing less than to soothe the baby, make it feel calm, make it feel loved. That's what we need to be able to do - even when it's not our own. Even a cat can do that. Even a cat can show love - real love. Even when it has claws with which to scratch for protection, it can think of holding back and providing, instead, a soothing touch, and even a kiss to make sure everything is all okay. And later... even a cat can gently remove its calming touch as it considers the possibility that it may still be needed. And only when things are just right again - will it step away - completely. Though even with that, it's still there, watching the baby, hoping that all is well with it.

There's much we can learn from a cat. Indeed, there is much we can learn from all of Creation. It's all here to guide us, to teach us and make us aware that more than anything - we need to grow, every single day. We need to become better, more caring, and more sensitive - especially when it comes to others.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe on How to Give Rebuke (Video)

Just in time for Rosh Hashanah. Beautiful words to consider. For those who appreciate understanding what true rebuke is really all about. 

Visit Jewish.TV for more Jewish videos.

True Love - Words From the Arizal - Rabbi Yitzchak Luria

Before a person arranges his prayers in shul (or wherever he will be praying,) before the portion concerning the Akeidah (the binding of Isaac) and onwards, he should accept upon himself the Mitzvah of "ואהבת לרעך כמוך" - "I accept upon myself to love my fellow Jew as myself." 

One should have intention to love every single Jew as one loves oneself. This is because it is through this that his prayer will rise up being included with all the prayers of the Jewish people - and it is able to rise upwards causing fruit to bear from it. In particular the love of ones friends who study Torah together with one - everyone should include himself as if he was one of the limbs of his friends.

In particular - if any one of his friends is beset with distress, everybody (in the group) should join themselves with his distress - whether it be because of sickness or children (or because of a lack of children G-d forbid) and he should pray for him.

Likewise in all ones prayers and his needs and other things - he should join his friend together with him.

My teacher (the holy Arizal) warned me very much in the matter of loving our friends especially when they were part of a click (a group.)

--- Rabbi Chaim Vital (the Rechu) relating over his teacher's (the Arizal's) teachings. See beginning of Shaar HaKavanot and Pri Etz Chaim, Shaar Olam Ha'Asiya Chapter 1. Brought in Shulchan Aruch HaArizal, Chapter 1:2

Sefirat HaOmer and Chanukah - Days that Count

A question often posed by the keen student of Halachah when dealing with the laws of Chanukah – is whether or not it shares a similarity to the laws of Sefirat HaOmer and the Mitzvah of counting the 49 days.

During the days between Pesach and Shavuot, we have a Mitzvah to count 49 days. The Mitzvah includes making a blessing before the actual counting. There are numerous laws with what happens if a person forgets to count a day and whether or not one may continue counting with (or without) a blessing on the remainder of the days. One who does indeed forget an entire day, may continue counting, but he loses out on his opportunity to recite the blessing on the subsequent days.

Those who enter Chanukah thinking in the mode of the Sefirat HaOmer days, enter it wondering a similar idea. If one forgets to light the candles on one evening, may one light candles on the evening that one remembers?! And if so, does one need to somehow make up for having missed a light (or even two?!) And may one recite the blessings for lighting if one had forgotten to light for a night – or two?

Let's give an example: Reuven lights his candle on the first night. Comes the second night – he recites the necessary blessings and then lights two lights. On the third night – having such a great time during Chanukah – he goes out to a party (of the frum kind of course!) which begins during the daylight hours of that second day. He enjoys himself so much that he parties himself out completely, falls asleep, and awakens on the third day of Chanukah in the mid afternoon! Suddenly he realises he had forgotten to light his candles for the third night.

Wanting to make up for his mistake, Reuven considers lighting the candles (with the blessings too!) during the third day, or perhaps even lighting two Menorahs on the fourth night – one with three candles and the other with four. 

Reuven should certainly reconsider lighting the three candles during the daytime (with a blessing) – because lighting candles in broad daylight is pretty much like lighting a candle in broad daylight! It achieves very little. Once there is light all around, it doesn't do much to anyone to light candles so that others can see… As for his second option of lighting two Menorahs, his idea is indeed an "upright" one, but does the Halacha require him to do this?

Has Reuven lost out in some way or may he recite the blessings on the fourth night, light just one Menorah (with his four candles – or even one according to the requirements of the strict law) and get on with the remainder of his festival with joy?!

Does Chanukah share a similarity with the Sefiras HaOmer of losing out on the blessings (or even the lights?) on the subsequent nights?

The law is clear – Chanukah is not like Sefiras HaOmer at all – and making such a comparison is ridiculous. These are two completely separate Mitzvot having nothing to do with each other, and trying to use the logic of one towards the other has no basis at all. 

But maybe if we consider what each of these different time periods is all about, we can understand why the Halacha allows us to continue lighting even if we forget a night – and even continuing with the blessings.

The time period between Pesach and Shavuot is all about growth. The Jewish people had found themselves on the lowest level of impurity on that day that they left Egypt. In fact, their entire journey out of Egypt until they received the Torah, was one devoted to growth. Each day, they grew out of a level of impurity and entered a new level of purity until they were absolutely ready to receive the Torah.

The festival of Chanukah – Festival of Lights – does not have anything to do with growth as such – it has to do with light! Of course every day is a new day, and a day of growth, and we certainly do add an additional candle. But a candle does not have to necessarily represent growth. A candle is light. Light is goodness. And light radiates, no matter what the situation. In fact, so long as there is darkness around, light will always chase it away.

Growth, on the other hand, is a process. As the Lubavticher Rebbe teaches – "Every living thing must grow." Look around, see nature. Every day that goes by sees the plants and animals growing further. All things continue to grow. Trees continue for ever and ever growing and growing, becoming larger and larger. Though we don't always see the growth visibly, those trees are growing nevertheless. Children grow continuously although most people never actually see this happening. 

But when looking backwards in time and making comparisons, one can really see how (physically) they have grown during the year. This physical growth happens all the time (until the person is a mature adult – and even then it continues but it takes a new direction!) It must happen spiritually too – especially for a person who is composed of both a G-dly and an animal soul. Just as we would worry about a child who would stop growing, so too should every person worry about their own spiritual growth hoping never to become dwarfed and stunted. Every day – every moment – must see new growth.

When one does not grow, one can liken this to a process of death – where everything comes to an end. The Torah teaches something even worse. Not only does one who does not grow – not grow, but more than this, for those that abandon the Torah for just one day – the Torah abandons them for a day. This is not just a death, but an actual regression in one's learning. When we walk away from the Torah, she does the same to us. When we walk a mile away from, she walks a mile away from us – and we find ourselves having now moved two miles away (even though we thought we had only moved one mile!)

When it comes to growth – it must be constant. When one stops, one has lost the battle of life. When it comes to these 49 days, there must be continual growth. When a day goes by and there is forgetfulness and a disinterest in growing, then our very lives have come to an end. At this point in time, one forfeits the right to make a blessing. One has lost sight of what is important in life. One has limited one's ability to grow. One has forfeited the blessing.

Chanukah – on the other hand is not just a festival of growth (as we add one light each evening) – it a festival of light! When it comes to doing something good, it does not matter what is going on around us. We can do good any time we want! We can remove the darkness and turn everything around for the good and bring light into a situation whenever we want to! When it comes to doing good, there is never a need to knock oneself down and imagine the possibility that because we have not done something good for some time that we have lost out.

When it comes to light – to doing good, one is never a loser. One can do it any time one likes! Even if one has just come out of the lowest low in one's life – or even if one G-d forbid – feels one is still there – one can turn on the light, one can do a good deed!

Chanukah teaches us to value light, to value good things, of bringing good to oneself and to others. So even if one forgets to light the candles one night, one may continue to light on all the subsequent nights – even with a blessing. 

Sefirat HaOmer may well be about growth. Growth is something that is often not easy. But it is something that we must be involved in all the time – no matter what. When we don't – we lose out on what life is all about – and at those times, we literally pull ourselves away from what our purpose in the world is.

But Chanukah comes around to teach us that even if we get lost in our growth and feel ourselves falling – there is never a moment that we can't stop ourselves, wherever we are… and light a candle, do something good, and bring some light into the world.

Be focused on the importance of counting the days of Sefirat HaOmer always. But when in doubt, switch into Chanukah mode. Light a candle. You'll be surprised at how much darkness you can remove!

Go on... Take it with a Pinch of Salt (Parshat Vayera.)

This weeks Parsha – Vayera – relates the famous story of the city of Sodom as it is turned completely upside down and burnt in every which way one can think of. What lead to its demise? 

We are taught that the city of Sodom was a most unscrupulous city! It simply had no values. The type of people living there however, were certainly well off! To live in the city of Sodom – one had to be on the very top of the Wealthiest of the World list. Sodom was all about the good things in this physical world – and if you wanted to be a part of it – you had to bring your own things with you.

There was no such thing as giving anybody anything in a city filled with the millionaires of that day. There was no reason to give to anybody. Everybody already had! And nobody thought twice that there could ever be a situation that somebody didn't! If one would dare to enter the city with a lack of funds, one would be thrown out immediately at best – and killed at worst. Sodom did not want poverty. In fact, it didn't even want to know that such a thing existed. Life – for those of the world of Sodom – was all about enjoying the luxuries of the physical world – without a thought that there might be anything or anyone else on this planet experiencing the slightest tinge of suffering!

Lot – the nephew of Avraham – and his wife on the other hand had obviously learnt a little about the act of kindness, and it seems that they were ready to help – so long as nobody else knew about it! But why did the entire city of Sodom deserve its most ignoble fate?

"The world is built on kindness" – says King David (Psalms 89:3). G-d built a world of give and take. It was His desire that there should be givers and takers. After all, G-d Himself is the ultimate Giver and we – human beings (and other creatures too) the ultimate Receivers. We have nothing we can give to G-d. We can only take. How embarrassing for any human being to consider then the idea that he choose never to give to another because they are poor! How embarrassing – when after all, even he has nothing – without the kind grace of G-d!

Sodom was not destroyed because it was up to no good. It was destroyed because it already had no existence! After all, if it was a city that could not abide by the law of the world – Kindness – the Law of Giving – the law of building the world – the very foundation of life – then it had no existence of its own in any case. The physical manifestation of a city going up in smoke, was no more than the reality of showing the world the true spiritual essence of the city. A city that has crumbled spiritually – is also a city that has crumbled physically. The physical occurrence was merely the reality of what the city was already in a spiritual sense. It had no life. It was not a part of it. Life is about kindness. The world continues to exist because of kindness. A city that does not abide by such a "law" is obviously not a part of this world at all! Demolition to such a city can hardly be considered anything more than a showing up of the reality of its "life."

The strong contrast of life in the city of Sodom against life today, points clearly to the low moral life system which the barbarians of the Bible era lived vis-à-vis ourselves. Today, those with wealth are sharing it with the world. Nobody is left homeless or without food. All are – thank G-d – clothed and continually feeling the kindnesses of those who have been blessed materially in abundance! In stark contrast to that city of Sodom, the world of today has learned about moral values. It seems that in today's times even those with wealth want others to share the same luxuries they have – whether it's fancy cars, large yachts (and all the parties that go on them too) – or whether it's owning a mansion in every country. What types of lessons could the civilized of today ever learn from those barbarians who lived in the times of Sodom?!

One might wonder why it was that Lot's wife was stricken with a death sentence that ended up turning her into a pillar of salt! Perhaps an insight into her ignoble death may help us in understanding the similarities (if we can stretch ourselves to see them) between the city of Sodom and the world which we live in today!

The Torah teaches us that, as things turned out, visitors would (try to) frequent the area for assistance. Some – apparently had the chutzpah – to ask for a pinch of salt (perhaps even just a grain!) The Torah doesn't tell us about everyone's reaction to these terrible crimes of the city of Sodom. It does however tell us that Lot's wife refused to part with her own share of this rare delicacy! 

A brief consideration of the condiment salt will make us aware that though much food can be eaten without any necessary toppings, salt does have a way of bringing out the extra taste hidden inside the food. It's not a necessity – granted! But it's much appreciated and makes all the difference of the concept between eating to live – or living to eat! Call it a luxury if you must! Our former case speaks of one who will settle for a piece of bread – if it will help in keeping him alive. Our latter case speaks of the person who feels the need to experience some goodness and taste in the world. Though the extreme of this case is certainly a danger – most people in the world need some sort of spice to keep their spirits in life up! Nothing big… just a grain of salt – sometimes!

The "Lot's wives" of the world however think differently about the salt of others – especially the poor. They consider it a tremendous encroachment on their own lives when the poor man asks for something so "large." In fact, one might even find the "Lot's wives" of the world claiming that they too lack this precious and rare commodity – and that is why they cannot give any of it away. If that is not the reason, they will be forthright in explaining to the one who lacks – that while they (the "Lot's wives") do in fact have this grain of salt (to help keep their spirits in life up which they exclusively need – unlike others), they just don't have enough for everyone. Besides… the poor man can do with the piece of bread – even if it doesn't have the flavour the salt adds to it! In this way, a slamming of the door in the face of the poor man is forthright in coming!

We must judge the "Lot's wives" of the world favourably. It could be quite probable that they too lack the grain of salt after all. It could even be that they don't have enough. (It may after all actually belong to their banks!) And perhaps after all – the poor simply do not need the same sophisticated lifestyle as the wealthy.

With fire and brimstone (literally) G-d turns the entire city upside down. For some reason – perhaps because of their better Middot (character traits), G-d saves Lot and his family – on condition that nobody looks back at the city they once came from. It is not for those who have actually taken part in the criminal activities of a city to be given the right to see its destruction if they have been granted immunity as a gift!

Sadly Lot's wife turns around and is immediately turned into a pillar of salt. Not a pinch and not even a grain… an entire pillar. The reason is clear. This is truly what she was. Her very essence contained nothing less than the desire for the absolute good things in life – and she had plenty of it. (It didn't belong to the bank after all!) In fact, not only this, but she had so much of it – that there was enough to give to everybody who asked her. Many must have come through asking for help. But they were turned away. The "Lot's wives" of the world understand that it's not the question of having or not… there is indeed plenty to give. It's just a question of concealing it from others that counts most.

Of course, those that tread this path of concealment must understand that one day things might truly be turned upside down, and instead of everything looking just right, one might find oneself turned into a pillar of salt for everyone to see. It will be clear then, that all the things that were constantly spoken about as being lacking – were actually there. The only concealment taking place was in the form of a lie!

What was wrong with Sodom?! Let alone parting with a grain of salt, they would steal – everything and anything from someone who already had nothing! But in particular they did it with cunning. Amazingly the entire city would rob a man walking through – with each person taking just a Perutah – one cent away from him. In this way, the courts could not prosecute anyone since theoretically no real crime had been committed. After all, would any judge today judge monetary cases of a victim claiming someone had stolen a cent from him?!

But G-d could not tolerate such behaviour. It is the very essence of the breaking up of society. When those who have are able to take – even that little extra small amount from those who don't – and still claim honesty… this is a city deserving of destruction. It is not because of a small crime. It is because the very purpose of the world has been lost. The kindness upon which the world is built has been destroyed. The "thief" is prepared to take even a cent that doesn't truly belong to him. And the victim must part with it without being able to cry over his loss – because nobody will listen!

Today's stores sell goods at 3.99 "Bob" or even 3.98 in order to attract attention. When one arrives at the till to ring it up, the cashier will charge 4 Bob without giving change. Of course the marketing manager for the goods is happy to stick the price tag with the cheaper amount displayed to give the impression that the item is cheaper, but the finance manager is required to collect that little extra – even though it is not actually written anywhere. Many times the final amount of goods will come to an amount ending in a 5 e.g. 3.95 Bob. When the purchaser pays his 4 Bob – he may never receive his 5 Bob change – for a lack of 5 Bob coins. The owner of the store once again comes away with an extra 5 Bob for every single purchase – amounts adding up to hundreds of thousands of extra dollars during the year! But does the 5 Bob actually count – and is there any theft involved?! Many stores will not include a price – or even tell you one, until the item is rung up – forcing one to pay whatever the cost.

And yet others will claim that while their regular price is ten times as much – it has been brought down now as a discount just for you! When these statements are said without any proof – they too fit into the category of theft. Of course, nobody can ever sue those involved in such transactions because the crime is far too small to warrant any court and judge setting up time to deal with such petty instances in life. In fact, even one's own friends might laugh at one's feelings of dissatisfaction at those making up statements regarding their charge of service or product… Yet the buyer may well feel the pain – immensely!

The bus driver may clip an extra ticket "by mistake." There is never anyone to complain to, but the purchaser must pay. It's only a few Bob… get another ticket!

Was it only the Sodomites who knew about petty theft that never hurt anyone?! Was it only the Sodomites who understood that the wealthy have no obligation to help the poor? Was it only the Sodomites who "didn't really have"? Or do we find that perhaps there still are some in today's world who have modelled the character traits of the Sodomites down to a "T".

Perhaps it is time to revisit the story of Sodom. To revisit the life (and lifestyle) of Lot's wife. To examine if perhaps we can find anything in it that may resemble something of life today. And then – to take a true accounting of ourselves to see whether we can appreciate the real needs of the other – to see our lives for the blessings we have and what more we can do to make sure the other is able to live their life as wonderfully and with all the physical blessings that we live our own. Perhaps we need to learn more about what real honesty is - and what real theft is. Perhaps we need to learn the laws of business, the laws of kindness and the laws of caring for another.

Rabbi Yochanan and the "Gangster" – with Video Clip

The Talmud (Bava Metzia 84a) relates the famous story about Rabbi Yochanan and an apparent gangster! Rabbi Yochanan was bathing in the river when a large impressive looking gangster came running by. Filled with tremendous strength, he jumped over the river to reach the other side. The man's name – Shimon ben Lakish – to become known as the great teacher Reish Lakish – none other than the main learning partner (Chavrusa) and brother-in-law of the man currently swimming in the river – Rabbi Yochanan!

Reish Lakish was a known bandit, gangster, gladiator and general circus entertainer. If anyone is thinking of ultimate material life – Reish Lakish was it! Blessed with a very strong, muscular body – he used it well to enjoy the "finer things" in life (which did not include much intellectual stimulus!)

Not being one to let a good moment go by – Rabbi Yochanan shouted out to the impressive looking gangster with the words, "Your strength would be better used for learning Torah." Can one imagine the insult these words must have had on the mighty gangster?! Turning back to the rabbi (an extremely good looking man,) he shouted, "…And your beauty for women!"

It was an equal dual something which both "fighters" were ready for! Rabbi Yochanan – the man known for his extreme good looks – spending his days immersed in Torah law – against Shimon ben Lakish – the town's gangster known for his promiscuity with the law. Rabbi Yochanan "insults" the strength of Reish Lakish – and Reish Lakish insults the beauty of Rabbi Yochanan. Is it ever a wonder to imagine that these two become such wonderful learning partners together?! To such a degree that Rabbi Yochanan cried over his death as he realised the loss of never having anyone to be able to raise the types of difficulties in Torah law as Reish Lakish would raise. And ultimately Rabbi Yochanan would even die as a result of his having lost his favourite learning partner!

What did Rabbi Yochanan see in this gangster?! And what ever made the gangster turn to Torah?! Rabbi Yochanan – a Tzaddik, saw only what there was to see. He saw a G-dly soul in front of him. So what that it was camouflaged in a gross material body filled with a dozen tattoos?! So what that the muscles on his arms were larger than both Rabbi Yochanan's legs put together (and Rabbi Yochanan was a BIG man!) Rabbi Yochanan could only notice the attribute of strength in the gangster. And it was to this that he focused. When used correctly even an attribute as tough as strength can bring sweetness to the world.

Seeing Reish Lakish's love for the "finer things" in life – clicking on to his language of "beauty" – Rabbi Yochanan told Shimon ben Lakish that he had a sister even more beautiful than he. In fact, he even made an offer that if Reish Lakish would make a change and use his strength for Torah – he would offer his sister as a bride for the great gangster! (Could a Torah scholar be any more foolish than this?! It his highly doubtful any Rosh Yeshiva would ever allow the sister of one of the generation's greatest Torah scholars to marry a gangster!) But then again, Rabbi Yochanan was no regular Rosh Yeshiva – he was an outstanding Tzaddik who looked to the deepest part of another human being. And it was there that he saw a holy spark of G-dliness waiting to be freed, to be awoken, to reveal itself!

As for the "gangster" – he thought the idea good too, and was "lured" into a little bit of learning. Once his soul was awoken, it did not take long for him to become the great Reish Lakish we all know about today.



The Baal Shem Tov teaches us we must learn from every single thing we see or hear that day (that moment.) Today we mourn the loss of a Jew – Yoseph ben Avraham Robinson. Shot dead near a shop that had a botched up robbery… A black man… a gangster… but a Jew! He was shot dead near a shop that had a botched up robbery…

I know nothing about his Torah learning – but from viewing the few videos available about him, it seems to me there is a spark of "Reish Lakish" here too.

Yosef was brought up as a regular non-Jewish person. His life was very much the gangster world life – though I personally know nothing at all about it. But something made him change – to throw it all away – for a little piece of Torah. Or perhaps for an entire cosmos of G-d! One looks at the picture of a refined looking Yosef and wonders what could ever have occurred to this person who just years before looked well the part of gangster! Yet the change occurred. It happened because it can happen. It happened so that we could all learn a lesson from a story such as his.

While we view skin colour and general behaviour as showing us the "true" essence of others, perhaps we should step back every now and again and become Rabbi Yochanans. Hidden inside the often very gross and material bodies of others may well lie a very G-dly spark. In fact, you'll find it in the least likely spot! But it is certainly there. In fact, the person opposite us at any one moment – no matter what they look like or how they seem to behave – may well have hidden inside them a G‑dly spark – at least as holy as ours is!

We can always watch them jumping over rivers. We can comment on their tattoos and gross behaviour. We can even shun them from society. We can all be "Roshei Yeshivas" and tell the world that they would certainly make unsuitable Shidduchim for others. When it comes to seeing that side of things – most of us will never have much difficulty in seeing the material physicality in front of us.

But if we want to, we can also see a sleeping G-dly soul waiting to be awoken in another. Inside him, there is also a piece of holiness far beyond what any of us could ever imagine. Perhaps it is our task to wake the other up – instead of continually shunning the other and maliciously gossiping on him to all and sundry. One never really knows, that person may well turn out to becoming one's best friend. They may turn out to becoming one's best learning partner in the world. They may even turn out to becoming one's own in-law! And who knows, if one is prepared to put in the effort to continue to hunt for that beautiful G-dly spark inside them – one may end up becoming so saddened by the loss of such a person – that one's very own life may feel quite hopeless without them.

Of course, it takes looking at the world around us and appreciating what there really is out there. The greatness of another. And the loss that such a person can bring to the world – without them.

You can find out more about Yosef – and his book which is due to hit the shelves Chanukah 2010 (something he will not see in this world) – here: http://yosephrobinson.com/index.html

But before you go there, why not take a look at something of his life in the video below:

PS: The following article was published a day after this post and tells more about the facts of the tragedy as well as about Yosef's life.

How to Rebuke your Fellow Jew (with Video Clip)

What's really involved when it comes to rebuking a fellow Jew?! We see someone doing something "wrong" and we "know better." We want to correct the other. It can take a life time of learning to find out the right approach to take when coming to rebuke another. It takes much tact, control and sensitivity to get it right. Many are ready to let it all out when it comes to telling off the other regarding the correct behaviour necessary in any given situation. Often, we simply know better. When it comes to rebuking, we're ready to truly put the other in their place showing them exactly where they are wrong. But do we really know the right approach when it comes to rebuke? Do we really know the correct approach when it comes to helping another improve their behaviour?! Have we studied enough?! Are we ourselves learned enough? Are we perfect enough to know the truth and correctness of every situation at any time - always?! Perhaps a little consideration of these ideas may make us a little more sensitive the next time we're ready to let another know just what correct behaviour is all about.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe shares an approach consistent with real Torah Judaism as to the path to take when it comes to teaching another, rebuking them and guiding them. He tells us what it means to focus on helping another to appreciate Torah, Judaism and how to improve and be an even better Jew. The approach might seem like old news to some - and yet to others, something quite foreign. Perhaps the only way to find out if it really works... is to give it a try!

17 Tammuz: What there is. What there Can be...

The 17th of Tammuz marks the date of the beginning of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. It began with the breaching of the walls and continued, until ultimately on the 9th day of the month of Av the Temple was set alight, and burnt to the ground. Our main physical reminder of the Temple is the Kotel HaMaaravi – the Western Wall.

The Temple is the ultimate structure we all long for. A tiny blog post of just a few lines will surely do no justice to the loss we actually have. While the physical building is a certain loss, it is nothing in comparison with the power behind this "building" and its ultimate message – complete peace and freedom – for every single person and for every single thing. Our fasting represents in our efforts of mourning, but a spark in comparison to the fierce flames that burnt the building down. 

Many are surprised to hear that there are many outstanding and ordinary individuals that recite the entire Tikun Chatzot prayers every single evening at the correct time (6 hours after the stars come out – according to Rabbi Nachman of Breslov. Midnight (based upon timed-hours, not 12pm exactly) according to the Shulchan Aruch and other sources.) 

Yet others are surprised to learn that when building a new home, one must leave a patch of the inside area completely exposed, never to be painted properly – all as a remembrance of the destruction that occurred. And yet there are still others completely oblivious to the law in Jerusalem of not playing music at a wedding or Simcha (except for one instrument only i.e. a drum!) – in memory of the destruction around us. Still others ignore the fact that provided they pray as indicated by Jewish law, they will include at least three prayers every single day asking for the rebuilding of the Temple!

It may seem like we mourn this destruction for just three weeks of every year, but those that know what the real loss is mourn it every single day… every moment. Ever found yourself crying over not having enough money to pay the bills? You're mourning the destruction – and you may not even know it. Ever found yourself in physical pain? You're mourning the loss of the Temple without even knowing it! But these are really just the ice-breakers of what the pain to us is really all about when it comes to truly appreciating our loss.

I'd like to share a story. It could be written on any post, but it somehow fits in well with the general theme of loss, of destruction, of a lack of appreciation, of our readiness to humiliate, laugh and scoff at everything around us without a care in the world of appreciating true greatness. I think it gives us the ability to consider people differently, and ultimately realise what true growth is, what true greatness is, and perhaps even encourage us to take the necessary steps in building the Beit HaMikdash – today!

The story is told about the great Posek (ruler on Jewish law par excellence) – Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (1895-1986). He grew up in Russia and by the age of 16 (according to at least one authoritative opinion) had already been through and mastered the entire Talmud and Shulchan Aruch – the basic keys to the entire Jewish tradition! He was said to have worked through these texts hundreds of times in his lifetime!

Times were exceptionally difficult for the Jews of Russia during the years that Rav Moshe was growing up. For those wishing to find out just what he went through, there is a published biography of his life by Artscroll publishers. In addition for even further insight – the 8th book of the Igrot Kodesh includes a comprehensive biography – not to be skipped!

In his late 30's Rav Moshe had to flee Russia and he had to do so fast! He did not know which place would be better for him – but he decided to flee to the USA. Ironically, though this would become the huge centre of Torah it is today – back in those days it was not an easy thing to get a job as a Torah teacher (of any kind) there! Friends and family convinced Rav Moshe not to come to the States. How would he ever get a job? Who would employ him? He was just a rabbi. Nobody wanted a rabbi in America!

Rav Moshe however knew well the danger of remaining in Russia. Not only was one's physical life at risk, but worse, one's very spiritual life was in danger. Staying in Russia meant, that even if one would be a great rabbi, it could be quite realistic to assume that one's children would lack a Jewish education – perhaps not even know what Jewishness meant!

Rav Moshe had his answer ready to all those that condemned his "irresponsible" decision to immigrate to the USA. He told them that as far as he was concerned, even if he would be required to sweep the streets (and not be able to focus on Torah learning or teaching ever again,) he would sooner be living in America and be able to give his children the chance of living as Jews, than to risk the dangers of living in Russia!

Of course, Rav Moshe could certainly have stayed behind in Russia and hoped for the best. However, he took the brave choice of moving to America just to give his children the opportunity to live as free Jews! To be able to learn Torah without the threat of immediate death. And even if it meant sweeping streets, this would be far better than not giving them any education at all.

The story is a beautiful one. But something is missing! We know how it all ended up. Rav Moshe became the Gadol HaDor – the giant of the generation in terms of Halacha. No serious student of Jewish law will begin to rule – without a thorough knowledge of Rav Moshe's Teshuvas (responsa) as published in his 8 volume Igrot Moshe – answers of questions dealing with just about every part of life one can imagine! Answers so encyclopaedic in nature, that one can only but marvel that the author must have had the entire Torah closer to his finger tips than any of the most modern computer disks with the entire Torah on a disk! The answers came out at speeds faster than a computer with quotations and relevant points being written much as one would write a letter to one's friend (without even the need for hours of thought!)

So what is the missing link in the story?! It seems like everything worked out well – didn't it?! The missing link is right there – in the thirties – those years that Rav Moshe was making plans to go to America. While Rav Moshe was preparing for the possibility of becoming great (the great man he was indeed to become) the rest of the world, friends and family – no less(!) were warning him that his Torah was not needed. Nobody would pay for it, and if he would have been lucky – he could have merited to sweep the streets to earn his way in life.

And what a loss that would have been to the world. Of course, in retrospect, everybody could clearly see just how great Rav Moshe was, but in the present, they were not prepared (sic). They were prepared for nothing less than insults, complaints, criticisms and a variety of other most negative statements!

Has the situation changed? Have we yet come to appreciate the value of a Torah scholar – or do we constantly feel him to be a waste of time? Would it indeed be better for him to sweep streets, pack shelves, and clean houses, than to study and be able to contribute something worthwhile to the world? Of course, not everyone is a Rav Moshe. But I guess… had Rav Moshe ended up sweeping the streets, the world might never have been able to make such a statement… because Rav Moshe would not have become Rav Moshe.

Our acknowledgment of the greatness of another and his desire to succeed in a given field not only gives him the encouragement to want to become that great person, but in addition, we quite often find that life turns around, and the one so encouraged, ends up bringing blessing to the entire world including the one who did the encouraging!

Of course, this is no less true of the Temple either. As we look at the "street sweeper" as it lies in ruins (right by the Kotel), we consider it too as nothing less than ruins – something old, something destroyed, something worthy of nothing. But in truth, the soul of the Temple is still there, and is waiting to be woken up. Our Torah study and our Mitzvot literally bring it to life.

When we encourage another instead of criticize; when we appreciate the other for who they are; when we see their greatness even where it does not yet show (and may never too!); when we begin to realise what there can actually be – then we begin the process of growth, one that builds mountains, one that builds lands and countries, one that builds the world, and ultimately builds the most precious of all buildings – the Beit HaMikdash itself.

Of course, we all have free choice. We can see another human being as a street sweeper. And we can see a building as a ruin. Alternatively we can be greater than the average Joe. Where others see street sweepers, we can see giants! And where others see ruins – we can see the beginnings of freedom, happiness, satisfaction and goodness. What a wonderful world – if only we could open our eyes.