The Lubavitch community recently suffered the tragic loss of the Shlucha Mrs Rashi Minkowicz. The letter below was sent by the Lubavitcher Rebbe to her mother Mrs Sara Lieberman after the tragic passing of her mother Mrs Rashi Gansburg. I thank chabad.info for sharing this letter and making me aware of these beautiful thoughts of the Rebbe. His words are powerful, filled with kindness and comfort, and share a real care for the value of a soul, its mission in the world and how to understand and appreciate more about life itself. The Rebbe himself speaks with total humility as he describes some themes in life that we should all take to heart.
By the Grace of G-d
14 Teves, 5730 [December 23, 1969]
Greetings and Blessings,
I received, on time, your letter --
though the circumstances have delayed my answer -- in which you write of the
passing of you mother, obm, and your thoughts and feelings in connection to
this.
The truth is that "none
amongst us knows anything at all" concerning the ways of G-d, Who created
humans, directs them, and observes them with a most specific Divine providence.
But certainly, certainly, He is the very essence of good, and, as the
expression goes, "it is in the nature of the good to do good." If, at
times, what G-d does is at all not understood by the human mind -- little
wonder: What significance has a limited, measured, finite creature in relation
to the infinite and endless, and especially in relation to the "the
absolutely Infinite and Endless" (B'li G'vul V'Ein Sof Ha'amiti)?
Nevertheless, G-d chose to reveal a
fraction of His wisdom to man, to flesh and blood. This He did with His holy
Torah, called "The Torah of Light" and "The Torah of Life"
-- that is to say, it illuminates man's path in life in such a manner that even
his limited faculties may comprehend its light. Thus, also in the case of the
above-mentioned occurrence, and the similar, one can find an understanding -- at
least a partial one -- in accordance with what is explained in our (written and
oral) Torah.
Actually, this understanding is to
be found in two rulings of Torah Law which address our actual conduct in these
circumstances. At first glance, they seem to stand in contradiction one to the
other, though they appear in the same section of the Code of Jewish Law. The
section (Yoreh Deah 394) begins: "One must not mourn excessively (beyond
what our sages have instructed us); one who does so in extreme..." Yet, at
the section's end it is brought that "one who does not mourn as the sages
have guided us is a callous and cruel person." Now, if in such a case it
is natural to mourn, what's so terrible about one who mourns more? Why the
harsh rebuke mentioned in the law? And if to mourn excessively is so terrible, why
is it cruel to mourn less?
The explanation lies in the
concluding words of our sages (as quoted from Maimonides): "One should fear
and worry, search one's deeds and repent."
It is self-understood that the soul
is eternal. Obviously, an illness of the flesh or blood cannot terminate or
diminish the life of the soul -- it can only damage the flesh and the blood
themselves and the bond between them and the soul. That is to say, it can bring
to the cessation of this bond -- death, G-d forbid -- and with the severing of
what binds the soul to the flesh, the soul ascends and frees herself of the
shackles of the body, of its limitations and restrictions. Through the good
deeds she has performed during the period she was upon earth and within the
body, she is elevated to a higher, much higher, level than her status prior to
her descent into the body. As our sages expressed it: The descent of the
soul is a descent for the sake of an ascent, an ascent above and beyond her
prior state.
From this it is understood that
anyone close to this soul, anyone to whom she was dear, must appreciate that
the soul has ascended, higher, even, than the level she was at previously; it
is only that in our lives, in our world, it is a loss. And just as the closer
one is to the soul, all the more precious to them is the soul's elevation, so
it is with the second aspect -- the intensity of the pain. For they, all the
more so, feel the loss of her departure from the body and from life in this
world.
Also, it is a loss in the sense
that -- it seems -- the soul could have ascended even higher by remaining in
this world, as our sages taught in the Ethics of our Fathers: "One moment
of repentance and good deeds in this world is preferable to the entire world to
come."
Thus, since the occurrence contains
these two conflicting facets -- on the one hand, the freeing of the soul of the
body's shackles and her ascent to a higher world, the world of truth; on the
other, the above-mentioned loss -- the result is the two rulings. The "Torah
of Truth" mandates that one mourn, for the time-period set by our sages. At
the same time, it is forbidden to mourn excessively (that is, beyond the set
mourning period, and also in regards to the intensity of the mourning within
these days).
As said, the primary cause for
mourning such an occurrence is the loss on the part of the living. This is the
object of the mourning period: The living need to understand why it is that
they deserved this loss. This is why "One should fear and worry, search
one's deeds and repent."
Through this another thing is
attained -- the bond between the living and the soul who has ascended endures. For
the soul is enduring and eternal, and sees and observes what is taking place
with those connected with her and close to her. Every good deed they do causes
her spiritual pleasure, specifically, the accomplishments of those she has
educated and raised with the education that bring the said good deeds; that is
to say, she has a part in those deeds resulting of the education she provided
her children and the ones she influenced.
Since all of the above constitute
directives of our Torah, the wisdom and will of G-d, the fulfillment of these
directives is part and parcel of our service of G-d of which it is said "Serve
G-d with joy." A directive of Torah also serves as the source of strength
which provides the abilities to carry it out. Consequently, since the Torah
addresses these instructions to each and every individual, it is within the
capacity of each individual to carry it out -- and more so, to carry it out in
a manner of "Serve G-d with joy."
All this applies to the entire
family, but even more so, and with yet a greater supply of fortitude -- as well
as a greater degree of responsibility -- in regard to those who are in a
position to affect the other family members who will emulate their example. Therefore,
the responsibility to implement all of the above falls first and foremost upon
the head of the family and the senior child, in this case I am referring to you
and your father. The guarantee "You have toiled, you have found" applies
here as well.
In all the above also lies the
answer to your question as to how you can lighten the load, etc. -- through a
behavior consistent with the above verse, with a strong faith in G-d that you
will succeed in this endeavor.
May it be the will of G-d that you
have good tidings concerning all the above, open and revealed good.
With blessings for success in all
your endeavors and good tidings,
[Signature: M. Schneersohn]
