Good Manners... Before Torah!

During the weeks between Pesach and Shavuot we concentrate a part of our learning on the teachings of Pirkei Avot – Ethics of Our Fathers. These 6 chapters of Mishnayot (teachings) deal with everyday life for the "everyday" type of person. There's no need to be a serious Torah scholar to master these teachings. Yet even the greatest Torah student should be involved in internalizing the powerful messages revealed and hidden in these global essentials of life.

There is no Talmud to the teachings of Pirkei Avot. There are no arguments of the general give and take found in the Talmud. One finds only the simply teachings of what life is and should be all about. In fact, were these teachings not actually included in the Torah, even the "average" person could come to realize their importance on their own. Such a person would even think these values as simply just "the right thing!"

We might ask ourselves though – why it is here, at this point in time, that we concentrate on these teachings. We could learn these teachings any time of the year. Why do we concentrate on them at this particular period of the Jewish year?

Many of us are quick to forget – even though our entire purpose of counting the Omer is to awaken us to it – that we left Mitzrayim (Egypt) to enter the Land of Israel. Through our journey to Egypt, we would ultimately become the nation we were destined to become. From being slaves of Pharaoh, we were to become "slaves" of G‑d Himself. But the journey and the transition from one master to Another would not just take time, it would also take knowing what would be required to make the transition a successful one. Though on our way to Israel – there was one important stop along the way. Just 50 days after leaving Egypt, we would receive the Torah itself. This day would be celebrated as Shavuot – the day that we received the Torah.

49 days of another kind of journey were experienced even before the actual receiving of the Torah. Likewise, as we move across from the festival of Pesach to the festival of Shavuot, we journey through these 49 days each year. During this time we concentrate on these special teachings of Pirkei Avot.

Pirkei Avot teaches us about simple life manners. Certainly, having one's fork on the left side of the plate, and knife on the right may well be important. Opening the door for a lady to walk through first may well indicate proper etiquette in life (though it's highly unlikely this would ever have reached a real Torah standard!) Not leaving the dinner table before everyone has finished their meal may also indicate upright conduct and one that should be upheld by all… And sitting up straight when eating may certainly show dignified table manners! But it's more.

From the way we greet each other (this includes an actual "Good Day" to a fellow man we may pass by on the street) to throwing our garbage in the bin (and not having to feel it's someone else' job to do) – to acknowledging that someone else might actually know more than we do and humbling ourselves to their wisdom. From considering our own worth in this world – and preparation to the next to appreciating the value of another human being – whoever they may be. From respecting another driver on the road, to acknowledging that our friend's money is as important to them as ours is to us! From simply being polite and non-judgmental of everybody else in the world, to being able to consider that when wrongs were done – there is always room to allow for forgiveness. The concepts are of course infinite!

It's about good manners and being a decent human being. Etiquette?!  Humbled behaviour and a recognition of others may be a more suited expression. It takes the artificiality out of societies norms and puts an emphasis on being a decent human being.

Eliyahu HaNavi (Elijah the Prophet) in the very first chapter of his teachings (Tana Devei Eliyahu) teaches us that "Proper conduct comes before Torah." If one is truly interested in acquiring Torah (which takes 48 ways to obtain), one cannot even begin to approach this task, unless one precedes the undertaking with the acquisition of being a decent human being. 

Though water can cause beautiful plants and tress to grow – this is only true when the seeds are suitable from the beginning. As for weeds, watering them will produce nothing less than bigger weeds! Those expecting sweet smelling roses after watering their weeds, may find themselves sadly disillusioned when they see just what has grown!

So too does the Torah produce the person who is ready to accept it. If this person has refined themselves and is already a fine human being, then the Torah will refine him further elevating him to the level of angels. But the "Torah scholar" (even when dressed in the finest garments sporting the longest beard) who has not yet understood the value of good behaviour will amount to nothing more (in the long run) than a bigger weed. 

Though the Torah scholar may be filled with the holiest of books in his "insides', a trip to the Mikvah accompanied by pushing every other person, throwing one's garbage on the floor, and literally kicking another out of the shower so that *they* can shower will do little to show the value of what the Torah is doing to him. If anything, it clearly points to his inconsistency in understanding that the Mikvah – the place he wishes to visit to pure himself – has become a place of much impurity!

Torah can only be acquired if one has first mastered the basics of decent human behaviour. Since Shavuot is a time of receiving the Torah, we are granted 7 weeks first, in which to spend learning about simple decent conduct, so that we can be prepared to receive the Torah and grow as human beings. Therefore there is no greater time period to begin learning these teachings than the period leading to Shavuot – the time of receiving the Torah. Derech Eretz Kadmah LaTorah. Proper behaviour – proper human conduct and respect – precedes Torah. You don't need to be a giant of a scholar to understand this… but you must at least be a decent human being.

All Israel have a Portion in the World to Come - Action is the Main Thing

The time between Pesach and Shavuot is an opportune time to learn about those teachings that aid in refining our behaviour. It is specifically in the summer months that this learning takes place, since during this time the Yetzer (i.e. evil inclination) is at its height. Ready for anything during this time, the Yetzer will invent a variety of excuses to trap anyone seeking to come closer to G-d and to one's fellow man.

Our Sages therefore set up at this time, that we should study Pirkei Avot – Ethics of our Fathers, a tractate of the Mishna that deals with the basics that every Jew needs to learn about.  We can ask however, why at the beginning of each chapter, we are required to learn another Mishna from Sanhedrin (11:1) which states, "All of the Jewish people have a portion in the world to come as it says…" What does this have to do with chapters devoted to ethical behaviour, righteous conduct and general good manners?! Of what value is to know that every Jew has a portion in the world to come, when the focus of learning should clearly be on improving one's behaviour in this world?

There are two views expressed on the importance of learning these ethical chapters. Rabbi Ovadia MiBartenura states that every person needs to work on themselves. It's just simple decency in the world that people behave in a way that brings peace to everyone around them. Even those who are not Jewish have their own set of basic life rules of how to behave (whether alone or in public.) Without basic rules, the world would become a wild zoo of animals doing whatever they liked. (Those wondering about the current state of affairs, may do well to consider that it may be that because everyone wishes to follow their own hearts instead of following common morality – that indeed the world has turned into a wild zoo in many places!)

Our Sages on the other hand tell us that the teachings of Pirkei Avot are really "Milei DeChasiduta" – words of piety. These words are here to make us better than just good. We should all be good – but how do we get to be *really* good? Follow Pirkei Avot!

So which is it, are they just words of good general behaviour or are they words to be studied by only the elite who are ready to truly turn themselves into angels?

In fact both of these apply to each of us. On the one hand, we must view these teachings as necessary. Nobody is exempt from learning proper ethical behaviour. On the other hand, let nobody think the words are just simple. Rather, one who immerses himself in these teachings – from the smallest to the greatest – stands the chance of becoming truly great. Even without in-depth Torah learning, those who follow the teachings of this tractate can learn the finest skills of becoming a giant of a person – one who is respected by others, and by himself too!

The Mishna points out to us that *every* single Jew as a portion in the World to Come. Our Sages teach us that this applies to the time of the resurrection of the dead when the souls will once again be placed into bodies and revived. This is the World to Come.

Before the soul enters this state, however, it travels through another world, commonly known as Gan Eden (the Garden of Eden.) What then is the difference between these two levels? We are taught that Gan Eden is the place where the soul receives reward for the Torah it has studied. However, when it comes to Torah study, we are all on different levels. In fact, there may well be some (G-d forbid) who never learn Torah at all. To such individuals, Gan Eden holds no value. Not necessarily because they don't deserve something – but perhaps because that is a world of the fullness of Torah. Much like the aged person of 100 years old knowing little of advanced mathematics might find himself quite bored and irritated in a day lecture of advanced mathematics, so too the soul that has not learned to appreciate the beauty of Torah and has not grown, may well feel quite agitated surrounded only by the Sages of Israel!

But what of good deeds?! Here, our sages teach us, that even the most simple Jew is filled with Mitzvot like a pomegranate is filled with seeds. Even the simplest Jew can fulfill the Mitzvot incumbent upon him. He can wear Tefillin every day without every understanding what he is doing. He can eat Kosher without understanding the importance of the food on his soul. He can observe and sanctify the Shabbat day – without ever having understood any aspect of the true holiness of the day or having immersed himself in years of learning these numerous laws!

One who can study – should certainly do so. One who can apply himself to learning, should certainly do so. It will be good for him in this world and the next. However, the person who finds himself unable to learn should not give up. Ultimately there is an even more wonderful place for the soul (after the revelation of Moshiach) when all the dead bodies will once again be brought to life. *Then* at that point in time, all souls will receive reward generously for the numerous Mitzvot they performed.

Pirkei Avot is not about intensive learning. The teachings are easy to understand with just over 100 main lessons that guide one through one's entire life and make one a decent human being (if nothing else) and an angel at best!

Nobody is exempt from improving their behaviour and doing the right things in life. Things that do good for the entire world, one's own family and oneself. The reward for doing is far greater than the reward for study – because in this world, the physical, material world, "Action is the main thing." We are physical beings involved in physical things – from eating and drinking, to wearing Tzitzit. From shaking a Lulav to blowing a Shofar. From giving charity to saying a kind word to another; there are literally millions of good deeds that await our attention every single day. There are millions of people that are in need of the good we can do for them.

So even if one cannot study 20 hours a day and gain a good share in Gan Eden, every Jew should know well, that come what may – the most crucial reason we study Torah – is so that we can be better people, help others, and bring goodness and kindness into the world.

Torah is greater than good deeds… only because it leads to good deeds. It leads to the soul – clothed inside a body – performing acts of goodness and kindness to others. Therefore it too will be well rewarded at that time when both soul and body re-unity. Pirkei Avot begins with the ultimate Mishna – "Every Jew has a portion in the world to come…" No Jew is exempt from the effort required in learning what it means to grow and bring goodness everywhere one goes. Knowing that means that one can begin learning these Mishnayot with a view to true spiritual growth.

Learning Pirkei Avos - Ethics of our Fathers - Between Pesach and Shavuos

The period between Pesach (Passover) and Shavuot - the festival of receiving the Torah, is one filled with true growth! We work on ourselves by improving our character traits. There are 7 main emotive characteristics which we are required to improve upon, and within these there are 7 of each, making a total of 49 character traits. Through achieving this growth, we merit the 50th level - the 50th day of the counting of the Omer - none other than Shavuos itself - the receiving of the Torah.

Our working on ourselves makes us fitting vessels to be able to receive the Torah in purity. When we are balanced within ourselves, we are ready to accept the Torah and fulfill it's requirements. Naturally all Jews are required to fulfill the Mitzvos - the commandments - of the Torah, but when one is balanced in one's emotions, one can fulfill the Mitzvos in an even more beautiful manner. In short, what is necessary is taking powerful lights of giving, and balance them with vessels that can receive them. Whereas emotions of anger, jealousy and the like can overwhelm one, literally destroying one's own self, when one has learned how to use one's emotions correctly, one can give of oneself in the correct amounts.

BALANCE IS THE KEY! One has to strive to keep oneself focused on what needs to be done, and do so in the correct way without overwhelming oneself, others or G-d Almighty in the process!

As we are working on ourselves, and looking for the best guidance to follow, it is fitting and has become the custom to study the section of Oral Law known as Pirkei Avos - Ethics of our Fathers during this period of time.

The Torah says that Derech Eretz Kadmah LeTorah - good behavior precedes Torah. Once one's foundations for life are set, one can easily build without causing the entire structure to crumble. Much like a house is built by first setting up solid foundations that go deep into the ground, so too when it comes to Torah growth, one needs to set up proper foundations so that the building can rest upon the ground with strength and power - without being blown away by the wind.

There are three main areas we need to work on:

1. Our relationship with ourselves
2. Our relationship with others
3. Our relationship with G-d Himself

Probably the best text as the most basic foundation for all these things, is the Ethics of the Fathers. Just six chapters of learning, and one can become an expert in knowing how to balance oneself with oneself, with others and with G-d Himself.

The custom has become to learn one chapter of these ethics each week between Pesach and Shavuos. Since there are 7 weeks, one completes the entire tractate during this period. There are those, however, who feel that the work required is ongoing - and certainly a great preparation for the upcoming festivals thereafter - namely Rosh Hashanah - the beginning of the new Jewish year, and Yom Kippur and Sukkot. Therefore, there are many that have the custom to continue to learn one chapter each week (after the Mincha prayers of Shabbat afternoon) - during this period of time, completing the learning of Pirkei Avos 3 times by the time Rosh Hashana comes around.

We have plenty of learning to keep us going on a regular basis - see other important learning projects under "Learning One on One" in this blog. And now, we have the good fortune to focus some of our learning on practical ethical and good behavior traits, making us fitting to receive the Torah in purity and prepare well in advance for the period of repentance encountered shortly thereafter.

____________________________________________________________________

It seems though that everyone is an expert when it comes to good ethics. In fact, we all seem to know what's right! Besides, there really are so many good books available, what could these 6 chapters teach us that we don't already know?! More than this, are they really G-d given - or are they perhaps simply good steps to take, as understood by the Rabbis of these teachings?

Perhaps the very first Mishna with brief commentary tells it!

"Moses received the Torah from Mount Sinai, and he transfered it to Joshua. Joshua transfered it to the elders, the elders to the prophets, and the prophets transfered it to the Men of the Great Assembly. They said three things, "Be deliberate in judgement; and raise up many students; and make a fence for the Torah."

The great commentator Rabbi Ovadiah MiBartenuro says, "...and the nations of the world also wrote books according to the fabrications of their hearts in the ways of ethics, how a person should behave with his friend. THEREFORE THE TEACHER OF THE MISHNA BEGAN WITH THIS - Moses received the Torah from Sinai. This teaches you that the attributes and the ethics in this tractate were not fabricated by the sages of the Mishna, but rather, EVEN THESE were said at Sinai!"

Even basic ethics must be learned from the Torah. There is no such thing as learning good behavior from the books outside of Torah. When it comes to proper behavior, we need to learn it directly from the Torah itself. We may think we know what is good behavior - and what it means to "be a good person." But if we are not following the teachings as included in Pirkei Avos, we are following the fabrications made through the hearts of men of just flesh and blood.

Set aside some time to learn these teachings. They seem to be simple, and barely the real meat of Torah, yet in fact, these are the bases for good and decent behavior. Foundations for being able to fulfill the rest of the Torah in purity and correctness, with goodness and kindness.