Children From Divorced Homes and Halachah

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for the Five Towns Jewish Times

(Posted on this site with permission)

Their mothers live among us and are relatively invisible. They have children who have no one to take them to shul. They have no one to take them to father & son learning programs. Rarely do they get a Shabbos meal invitation. Their social lives are awkward at best.

They are the divorced women who live in our communities – a group whose numbers are growing dramatically. And true, there are fantastic people – the Rabbi Dovid Greenblatts, the Rabbi Yaakov Benders, the Dov Wolowitzs of the world, and others, but somehow it is not enough.They bear an almost unbearable burden. Most are financially insecure and have their hands full just making it through the week. Often they experience such legal strains and financial stress that the strongest among would buckle under the pressure.

THE HALACHA

What does halacha say about these women and their plight? The psukim in the Torah tell us about orphans, widows and converts. But what about the growing number of divorcees? And if, in fact, the answer is that we should devote more resources to this invisible group.

A few years ago, one such woman approached a number of Gedolim in Eretz Yisroel about the plight of divorcees an obtained a remarkable letter. Because there was a slight factual miscommunication in the recipient of the letter – there was a delay in the publication. The three Gedolim? Rav Aron Leib Shteinman Shlita, Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita, and l’havdil – Rav Michel Yehuda Lefkowitz zt”l. The letter is translated below:

To the Honorable Organization..

We have heard of the remarkable acts of chessed that you do with widows, rachmana litzlan, in a most befitting manner. Now you approach with a question in regard to divorced women:

Do they have the same a similar halachic status in regard to Tzedaka and in the manner in which to deal with them on an equal basis?

Our opinion is that the circumstances and situations are equal in their importance.

May the Holy One Blessed Be He enable you to continue in your blessed handiwork.

One who signs with wishes of blessing,

[Rav] Michel Yehudah Lefkowitz, Bnei Brak 5769 [zt”l]

We too join with what has been mentioned above,

[Rav] A.L. Shteinman

[Rav] Chaim Kanievsky

A FAMOUS PASUK WHOSE MEANING FEW UNDERSTAND

There is a pretty famous verse in the Torah whose true meaning has eluded the vast majority of people – Zeh Kaili v’Anveihu. Most people only understand it to mean that when it comes to items involving a Mitzvah, we should spend to buy the fancier and better one.

We see from the Gemorah in (Shabbos 133b) an entirely different explanation of it. Rav Yitzchok Isaac Sherr zatzal explains (Leket Sichos Mussar p.76) that the pasuk of “Zeh Kaili v’Anveihu” teaches us the obligation of feeling and understanding that the performance of Chessed brings us closer to Hashem.

This is on account of the Gemorah’s understanding of the word “Anvehu” to mean “Ani v’hu – I and Him.” The meaning of this Pasuk is therefore, “This is my G-d, and I shall bind myself to Him. I know that I can accomplish this binding through the notion of performing acts of Chessed.” The consequences of this particular Pasuk are an obligation of thought: It is something that we must think – Chessed binds us to Hashem – Ani VeHu.

The existence of this group of people then, provides us with an opportunity similar to that of a shul. What is one of the main purposes of davening? It is to form a close bond with Hashem. Chessed does the same thing, and according to this Gemorah in Shabbos – it is a halachic obligation of thought to realize this.

MAKE THEM FEEL AS A PERSON AND NOT CHESSED

One very important point that we must have in mind is that it is the greatest chessed for chessed not to be done as if it is chessed. All people have what to contribute, in conversation and in social activity. Our obligation is to realize that everyone is created B’Tzelem Elokim in the image of Hashem and that there is depth to who they are as people. Their social contribution, their thoughts and opinions matter and they are enjoyable company.

There was a famous bakery owner in Williamsburg. Mr. Gelb, who not only gave needy people Challah and cake for Shabbos and Yom Tov, but also gave them change so that their self-esteem would remain intact. An even higher level that can sometimes be achieved is to actually render any assistance in such a manner that even we do not detect or perceive it as chessed per se.

PRACTICAL STEPS

So, practically, what does this mean? We can help in two ways. Boruch Hashem one of our askanim, Rabbi Dovid Greenblatt has created an excellent organization called, “Sister to Sister.” This organization is a remarkable way in which one can lend assistance to this invisible group.

A second way, however, is to seek out members of this invisible group and actively help them. Boruch Hashem, some of these divorcees have an ex that cares enough about his children to provide for them even more than the court-mandated child support. Others often get a pittance and some not even at all.

MEN TOO

We must also not forget that divorced men, as well, need to be welcomed in our homes and need emotional support and assistance. Often men are perceived as the evil ones when, in fact, they too have suffered enormously. Whatever happened in a marriage is not our concern. Ahavas Yiroel and Chessed must be applied to all parties – these Mitzvos are gender neutral.

TZNIUS

When helping them, it should, of course, be done in the most tznius manner as possible, and with the contributions of both the husband and wife. There are many ways to do this. It should also be done in a manner where they do not feel that you are doing it as a chessed.

• Learn with the child

• Notice kids in shul

• Offer to take the children out with yours on an outing

• Help keep up with the homework

• Shabbos invitations – realize that often their families cannot take them back

• Extend invitations earlier rather than later

• Occasional financial help or a gift

• Offer to babysit once a month

• Ask if they need anything at Costco

• Offer to build them a Sukkah – or to use yours

• Ask in general, “Is there anything specific I can do for you?”

• Just call to say hello

• Share your husband’s flowers with her

• Get to know their favorite food items and that of their children

• Suggest shidduchim when possible and appropriate

• Suggest shidduchim for their children

• Help them deal with fixing the house

• Help them deal with fixing their car

• Help them deal with the IRS

• Help them in general negotiations

• Help them ensure that their kids have friends

• Sheitels – look out for a new one for them.

• Avoid avoiding them

• Don’t be judgmental

• Don’t stigmatize

• Don’t say things in a pitying way

• Be sensitive to call them back

• Avoid saying insensitive things or asking insensitive questions

LOVING CHESSED

The posuk in Micha (6:8) states, “..What does Hashem require of you? Merely to do justice and love Chessed..” The idea is that we must foster and develop a love of Chessed. Rav Sherr explains that there are three elements to this love:

1] To love doing acts of Chessed ourselves.

2] To love and appreciate a situation where Chessed is being performed by others – either for another or for others.

3] To love the existence of opportunities for Chessed in the world.

The Chofetz Chaim writes (Ahavas Chessed 2:1) that not only must one love Chessed but one must stick to this character trait and always go beyond the measure of what is required. He give the analogy of a parent. A loving parent gives more food and clothing than the child requires, so too must we do likewise in sticking to the Midah of Chessed.

CONCLUSION

The dramatic rise in divorces provides us all with an unprecedented opportunity for chessed. These opportunities should be done, when possible, with the utmost consideration and thought for their self-esteem and self-perception. These are the sons and daughters of Avrohom Avinu, Yitzchok Avinu, and Yaakov Avinu, and should be treated in lie with their stature.

The author can be reached at yairhoffman2@gmail.com

Charity - And The Agony of Debt

There's no need to jump on the "it's coming to Rosh HaShanah" bandwagon to speak of the importance of Tzedakah - charity. The Chumash (Bible), Talmud, Codes of Jewish Law and just about every other major work in Jewish "folklore" and mysticism speak about this Mitzvah. From the wisest of all men (King Solomon), the message comes out clear and strong, "Charity saves from death" (Proverbs 11:4). In fact just typing the word צדקה (Tzedakah) in Hebrew into a search engine brings up the remainder of these words as its first choice for suggested pages צדקה תציל ממות!

This isn't a post about the benefits of Tzedakah. It's a post about debt. There's a synonym for it which simply does not appear in any thesaurus; it seems it can only be used in one direction for synonym purposes of course. It is "agony." The person in debt takes a look around the world in day to day events. He sees others embarking on extravagant holidays, purchasing new cars (regularly), purchasing dream homes (which are often not lived in save for once a year for just a week - as is so often the case in large amounts of apartments purchased in the most expensive areas in Israel.) I'm not talking about the person in debt due to his drug habit. Nor about the person in debt because of his gambling habit. I'm talking about those who struggle every month to make it through. I'm talking about those who - comes the day before their rent payment is due for their most modest apartment, wonder how they are going to get enough to pay that amount due in 24 hours.

The stress is agonizing! The will to continue living - overbearing. The image of the cruel landlord from years ago who would throw their tenants into prison for not paying rent is not just a past event. The renter of today - the one in debt - fears every day of the possibility of finding his treasured few personal possessions to be on the street come the next month. His dream of owning his own home is a fantasy that will never be realised.

The debtor - finding himself "sold" for five years or more to his bank - feels the additional pressures yet again of the possibility of taking out another five year loan - even before his first loan is paid back. What will be then?! Faced with a lack of Gemach organisations - Jewish organisations offering interest free loans - he can only turn to banks - often finding himself with additional questions related to loaning from and paying interest to a Jew - something forbidden by the Torah. But with no choice left in his life and nobody to turn to he must hope that at the very least, he will not transgress this prohibition in his life.

The Jewish holidays approach. Another Sukkah must be purchased because the wind may well have destroyed his old one a year before. New Schach must be purchased.  A new Lulav and Etrog. How will he afford these things?! His Tallit is turning brown from use - even dry cleaning won't help. His Mezuzot need checking, his Tefillin need checking.

But with all this, he forgets - he will need to eat. There are still medical expenses - even for necessary check ups. There is clothing he may need - new shoes - just like we all do. Any monies he could possibly save for anything, must be paid to the loan sharks (most likely banks today,) with huge interest fees - and it just keeps adding up - just like the Torah teaches - charging interest is like the bite of a snake. At first one does not realise the bite has occurred. But little by little, the venom increases, the poison enters and before long, there is no way to stop the build up. There is just no way out!

The world goes around. Many with huge resources continue a life of luxury ignoring the tremendous lack of homeostasis those without must confront every day of their lives. When will it end for them(?) - is a wish they long for every single day.

The debt runs into the tens of thousands - and sometimes more. How will it ever be possible to get out of it? Being involved in Tzedakah, I have seen people come through in amounts that have overwhelmed me. When I grew up, I never believed that some people will help - I mean really help! But in the years I have worked in Chessed Ve'Emet, I have seen these things with my own eyes. I call these people "miracle makers." In nature, the poor man is stuck with poverty. He will remain in debt forever. But here - a man /woman - not necessarily "of means" comes through and turns everything around for the poor man. A sizable donation sets things right giving the poor man an opportunity at life again. Giving him the possibility to purchase equipment he may need to start his own life in earning a respectable livelihood again. It is like a miracle has occurred! The air can be breathed again. The miracle maker comes through and saves the day!

Miracle makers: People who identify with that debt, that feeling of hopelessness of the other, lost in a world that judges and moves about because of one thing only - money. These people take hold of the easily available tools of modern technology today - and with just a few clicks - from any part in the world - enter a magic number. A transformational number - which can turn the life of a person so totally lost of hope - into a person who can restart and readjust to getting their life back on track again - not because they ever did anything intentional and criminal to deserve it - but just because that is where they are at.

The years have passed on. The debt is just too big. It's not getting any better.

If it's a Jewish holiday that inspires you to give, the feeling that you've helped another, the assurance that charity will protect you in this world - and give blessing in the next, please consider giving generously by selecting an amount that you can afford and clicking the Buy Now button below. Do it now - and make a difference in the life of another - someone maybe quite desperate. Become a miracle maker - yourself.

For further information on the activities of our organisation Chessed Ve'Emet, see www.lovingkindness.co or contact Reb Eliyahu directly.

Get Out of Debt and Live Again

2 Chai ₪36.00 ILS 10 Chai ₪180.00 ILS 20 Chai ₪360.00 ILS 30 Chai ₪540.00 ILS 40 Chai ₪720.00 ILS 50 Chai ₪900.00 ILS 60 Chai ₪1,080.00 ILS 100 Chai ₪1,800.00 ILS 200 Chai ₪3,600.00 ILS 500 Chai ₪9,000.00 ILS

Giving Matanot LaEvyonim - Monetary Gifts to the Poor on Purim. Who is to be Considered Poor?

On Purim - there is a Mitzvah to give financial charity to two POOR people. What is your definition of poor? Let me give you some examples - and you choose or add your own:

1. Someone wearing filthy garments, hasn't eaten all day (or for the past two days) looks in a shocking condition and is standing on the street corner begging for money? Is he poor and do you feel you'd give your charity to him on Purim?

2. Someone who wears clean garments, looks clean does not own a home of their own, but rents, who pays full taxes but has no money for food (practically speaking yes) cannot afford the enforced taxes and cannot afford his rent either. He will go years without buying much needed spectacles because he has no means to purchase them - and wouldn't tell anybody this either. Nobody would ever know except him. He does not own his own furniture or appliances. If a visit to his own shows that he does have old broken furniture - it may not even be his - but rather his landlord's! 

However, he regularly loans from the banks (having huge interest to pay off) and continues this way until he eventually gives in to life whether through becoming bankrupt or kills himself (G-d forbid.) Pretend you didn't know the last few lines and just read the first few points only. Would you consider him poor (i.e. without knowing what was about to happen to him in the near future?) Would you feel comfortable giving to him realising he may need something - or do you regard him as taken care of?

3. Someone who owns their own home but owes over one million shekels on it (simply because - yes - housing is this expensive in Israel) battles to pay his regular enforced taxes, does without food when necessary because he cannot afford it. Apparently the government and other financial lords feel that owning the home is sufficient food for being able to live. Incidentally he looks clean on the outside, and seems to appear to be healthy. Pretend you didn't know that he cannot afford food, clothing and other necessary items - because all you can see is the expensive home that he owns. Would you consider him poor?

4. Someone who owns their own home in full but has no money in his bank account at all. He struggles to meet his food bills, medical bills, insurance bills, car payments etc. He really cannot pay his day to day bills even though he owns the house. Look - telling the fellow to sell his home so that at least he will have cash available won't help because he believes he is entitled to it. Just that he cannot afford his daily bills. Is he to be considered poor?

5. Someone who owns their own home, married, kids, pays for the basics, but cannot afford proper education. He doesn't waste on holiday expenses etc., but there are things he feels important - you know - like education - and he cannot afford that. Is he to be considered poor?

Add your own definition.

Consider this now: Who do you give your "charity gifts to the poor" to. It's something to think about on an individual level and is completely irrelevant to have the need to tell anyone.

If you would like to give your Tzedaka this Purim to truly needy Jews in Israel who may well fit one of the first two categories - please make a donation immediately by clicking the donate button below. For more information about the activities of Chessed Ve'Emet, please see our main website www.lovingkindness.co and join us in learning the beautiful values of Torah and assisting those who truly need assistance.

Make your difference today - and save a life - or two!

We are All Beggars

The Chofetz Chaim – Rabbi Yisrael Meir HaKohen Kagan (1839-1933) wrote some of the most well read works in Jewish law today. His Mishna Berurah – a commentary on the first section of the Code of Jewish law – the Shulchan Aruch – is accepted as being one of the most studied works in regular Yeshiva life today. In today's times, when it comes to understanding day-to-day Halachah, it is to the Mishna Berurah that we turn.

In addition to this masterpiece, the Chofetz Chaim wrote additional authoritative books, including a work encompassing all the laws of forbidden speech taken from the entire Talmud (and other works) – entitled "Chofetz Chaim" and a work encompassing the entire gamut of Midrash related material sharing the beauty as to the importance of observing these laws of forbidden speech – entitled "Shemirat HaLashon."

There is however another beautiful work that is in need of much study. "Ahavat Chessed" is the Chofetz Chaim's summary of the laws of kindness towards a fellow Jew. He takes one from the laws of loaning money to simply dealing with what kindness is all about. Of course all these books mentioned above are in need of study on a regular basis, and in fact there are structured programs allowing one to finish studying them every single year (and so should they be!)

At the very beginning of his second section of the book, the Chofetz Chaim awakens us into appreciating a fact that most of us never really think about. 

Let's first put ourselves in our own shoes as we hear that knock at the door… We all know the feelings we get on seeing a "beggar" at the door. Thousands of thoughts fill our heads immediately as we begin to come up with excuses as to why not to give. "Why can't he get a regular job?" or perhaps, "Why can't he manage to live on less?!" Then we think up such things as, "Why must *I* always be the person to help when others have so much more than I do?" We even go so far as to perhaps recommending an entire plan of action as to how he/she should live his/her life and actually tell them to their faces – often with a most unwelcome slamming of the door in their faces.

It seems we're all authorities when it comes to the financial lives of others, knowing exactly how they should be living (and when they're demanding too much from us wanting more than their due!) We often know where they should go to shop for cheaper things. We can often give them tens of phone numbers to call of people who "can help." In short, we much prefer telling others off and making them clearly aware that as for ourselves, we're all taken care of! Now… it's up to them to "get a life" and stop becoming burdens on society!

But are we really all taken care of?! Even the most wealthy?! Are they really as independent as they think they are? Or is it maybe – somewhere possible to imagine that just like this beggar – they too are beggars in their own lives?! Perhaps the man at the door is simply a little worse off. But when it comes to real life, we are all in fact in exactly the same boat.

And so the Chofetz Chaim comes in to tell us the truth of each of our lives. In fact, loving kindness is an attribute we all best take to heart – immediately. The reason? We all need it! Every single one of us. The poorest of the poor, is in reality – no less independent than the wealthiest of the wealthy. Though the false illusion appears to distract us from the reality, every single one of us is in need of someone else, of something!

When G-d created man, He created him in His own image. But what exactly is the image of G-d?! G-d is the very Essence of good – of kindness, of the aspect of giving. If there is one trait clearly visible it is the fact that He gives. "G-d is good to all" (Psalms 145:9) and, "He gives bread to all flesh – for His kindness is everlasting" (Psalms 136:25). 

The world around us, nature, people, everything – it is all something that G-d has brought about – for us. To be created in His image is to be built with the quality of kindness, of giving. To push this aspect of ourselves aside – ever – is to remove (at least at that moment in time when it is actually needed) the image of G-d that has been imprinted into each one of us. Our very being is about doing an act of kindness to another. The entire world exists – only because of kindness. As King David teaches, "The world is built upon kindness" (Psalms 89:3)

In fact, the entire world exists solely on acts of kindness – nothing else! Every day, every moment, every person and every thing – exists solely because of some force of kindness that is acting upon it at that point in time. Even the wealthiest cannot exist without a constant force of kindness acting upon them (though they not even be aware of it!)

The Chofetz Chaim points out regarding the well known story of Sodom and Gemorrah. Here was a self-sufficient town filled with only the wealthiest of the wealthy. In fact the entire area was sealed off – except to those who already had wealth. The poor man would not dare to enter – lest he be killed. Poverty was not for these cities. Anybody entering the city in the hope of someone else giving him wealth – may just as well have entered an inferno!

Sodom and Gemorrah had absolutely no need to interact with any other city in the entire world. It was completely self-sufficient. There would never be any need for political fighting of any kind – because they kept solely to themselves. They neither took from anyone (having everything already!) nor did they give to anyone. They simply existed on their own… It was *this* very thing that lead G-d to destroy the city. It was a city that could not exist, because to put it simply – there was no kindness. Nobody was willing to give to anyone. Everyone felt that they already had, and therefore had no need to give to another. This is not G-dly. This is not the Divine Will of this world. This is the antithesis of what G-d wants – a world filled with kindness – with everyone continually giving to everyone else!

Today, there is no longer a trace of those cities. They could have no existence today – because they never had any existence – even then!

Let's now view our own lives for just a moment. As we do so, we will see that there is not a moment that goes by without us needing the assistance of another (and hence why solitary confinement is such a superb punishment to make the greatest of the great go absolutely mad!) 

Of course, we can always turn our heads up at the beggar who "begs" for help. We can tell him how he should live his life – and stop depending on society with such burdens! Or we can realise, we are no different…

Every person goes through a variety of life experiences. To each experience, he will need assistance. Sometimes, one needs the financial help of a friend. Even the wealthy require financial help. Many times they wish to expand multi-million dollar businesses and must consult with big loan companies in order to acquire the finance they need to become even bigger. But do they ever consider this to be a form of begging – after all they are wealthy enough as it is?!"

Sometimes a person needs the help of another to find work. And even when wealthy – if work does not constantly come through (if clients do not constantly come through) the wealthy man will become poor… soon! Here lies the positive Mitzvah of, "And you shall strengthen him… and he should live *with* you" (Leviticus 25:25). Of course, this includes every single person!

Sometimes a person requires the kindness of his friend to help with his bodily needs, for example when he has a Simcha! It won't be much fun if others are not around to enjoy it! What good would a wedding be if there were no guests, no band, no caterers?! Everybody realises then that they must get help from others in order to have their own happiness in life!

When one is sad, one needs the assistance of friends to console him and to speak gently to him. Here we see the Mitzvah of Nichum Aveilim – comforting mourners (for example.) And such a person needs the friendship of others to help cheer him up! 

Sometimes one must travel. Here too one needs the assistance of others. It may be that we need help finding our way around a new place, or assistance in finding out where to eat, the cost of things etc. Often one may even need the assistance of another for directions – or even to find a bathroom in a hurry! Hopefully there will be someone who will help us when we need such things in an emergency situation!

When we are invited as guests, we need the help of the host to make us feel welcome. When one is ill, one needs the help of others – to visit him and to help provide him with his needs, as he may be confined to bed. One can then surely realise just how much we are dependent on others. Even the wealthiest of the wealthy can find themselves confined to bed needing the assistance of those – who lack money, who have barely enough to live on… Yet it is their assistance that he may need. This falls under the commandment of Bikkur Cholim – of visiting the sick.

And when each of us dies, we need the most ultimate kindness of all. The Torah calls this the Kindness of Truth, because it is a kindness to which nobody will ever be repaid. When one dies, one is in need of the assistance of others to see to one's burial. The body will not manage to clean itself and walk to it's grave by itself – and then cover itself with soil. Rather, it will be through the kindness of others that after death, a person's body will be dealt with honourably until the last mound of dust is placed upon it.

The short of it is that the world would cease to exist were it not for the attribute of kindness. Were it not for kindness, none of us would be able to get through life – because it is through the constant kindness of others that we are fortunate enough to manage to get through our lives and obtain the things we need. Not even the wealthiest man in the world would be able to attain all these things with just his wealth alone.

And therefore, when we encounter a man who asks for nothing more than just some money to live – we should do well to consider how life is made up of continual kindnesses. Today, he is in need of the kindness of wealth (no matter how much!) Tomorrow, the giver of that money may be in need of assistance as he lies in bed. And who knows? The next day, the "beggar" may be the very person who takes care of, and buries the wealthy man… But will the wealthy man then feel disgust towards his "intruder" the previous day?!

Our obligation is to strengthen ourselves tremendously in this awesome attribute. Our obligation is to realise that even if we are doing fine in terms of wealth – we are all in essence "beggars".

Of course, the real beggars can find out for themselves if they ever feel that way. As we stand in Shul on the holy day of Yom Kippur – a day filled with prayer, repentance – and forgiveness, we realise that actually, without the kindness of G-d, we are truly nothing. At that point in time, as we stand praying, we identify well, that all is in His hands… the wealth we will receive in the coming year, the health… our family life and children… all is in His hands. Will you be asking for something this year?! Might there be a smudge of "begging" going on?! Can it be that we could ever be beggars? Even the most wealthy?!

It can! And if so, we must certainly reflect hard in our hearts back at our thoughts and our speech as we turn to "open the door" each time we encounter another asking for help. As we do so, we realise, we are truly no better than they. Perhaps – they are even greater than we – though they seem to ask us for our help! Perhaps they will help us tomorrow. Who knows, it may be their very kindness that one day ensures each of us is buried honourably and given the respect each of us is truly due. Today he is but a beggar worth nothing… Tomorrow – he is our "life saviour!" let us think twice before slamming the door, before advising him how he should live his life, before demeaning or embarrassing him. We are no different to him. Just that today we are on the inside of that door and he is on the outside. Tomorrow, however, things may be quite different.

Stopping to Give to Another Because of a Bad Report about Them

Giving charity to help another Jew is perhaps one of the greatest Mitzvot available. It helps to put another person on their feet. It helps to keep them alive. It helps to make them be filled with positive self-esteem (when given in the correct way.) It makes the recipient feel that though they have not been able to "support themselves," someone has come through for them to keep them going, until better times (which certainly lie ahead.)

One of our greatest tests we have, is in knowing who to give to. We often tend to weigh up who we feel is the better person, the better organization. Then, when something comes our way to "prove" that the recipient is no longer a good cause to give to… we give up on them. It's only too easy to have our regular charities that we give to, and then give up on them due to hearing a "true" bad report.

The Chofetz Chaim in a note to his work – chapter 6:11, has this to say:

"And from the law discussed, let us talk about one small particular issue that many people stumble upon. For example, there are people in the city that are known to be poor and one has to give them charity. And now it happens that somebody spreads a bad rumour about them (i.e. speaks malicious evil slander.) They say that actually those poor people asking aren't poor at all, but rather they make themselves out to be poor in order to deceive people. Through their bad rumours they prevent many other people from giving of their regular amounts to these poor people at a later stage – amounts they were accustomed to give them from before hearing the rumours.

According to the Torah, this is a most grave sin because it enters into the category of listening and receiving evil slander. If one would go by the Torah law itself that one may not listen to evil slander – except for the sake of being suspicious about a certain report – one would never exempt oneself from this poor person now, because the poor person would still be established under his original status as being considered a poor person – all the while that one cannot prove with certainty that the opposite is the case – and the people of the city are obligated to sustain him.

Greater than this our Sages have said (Bava Batra 9a) "If someone comes and says 'Support me', we do not investigate after him (i.e. we believe his need for charity.)" All the more so with our case, that this person was already established as being considered poor. Can one do away with the establishment and the obligation of the people of the city to abstain from supporting him any longer – just because of someone who has slandered him?

One may only be suspicious of the report and to investigate into the matter well (to confirm if indeed it is true.) Certainly, all the while that it is not proven true, one cannot exempt oneself from the law of obligation of charity.

About this and similar things, our Sages have said concerning the verse "Do not steal from the poor man, because he is poor" (Proverbs 22:22) refers to a person who is accustomed to giving charity to a certain poor person, and then he stops and he doesn't give him any longer. Such a person is called someone who steals from the poor."

How often have we found ourselves in the position of giving to others regularly? Time may have passed by with a variety of reports coming through from various "authorities" about the true character and financial position of the recipient, proving well that he is simply no longer deserving of the charity one used to give them. If indeed, one finds himself in such a position, and realizes that it is due to the evil slander that one has stopped giving the other, then it may do one well to consider the words of the Chofetz Chaim.

One who actually believes the forbidden malicious evil slander of another to be encouraged to now stop giving another in need, is no better than a thief. Not only does he steal from those that have; he literally steals from the poor (often because he is poor!)

The power of the tongue does certainly bring life and death to others. Next time we have the opportunity to hear the vicious slander told to us about our "friends", we may well consider the strength of the tongue. No knife is a match for the tongue, no sword and no gun. The tongue is far more powerful than all of these. It works far faster, and it brings total destruction in its wake. While those with wealth are affected by the power of the tongue, those lacking the basic means to live can literally give up hope in life itself through the "uprightness" of individuals who simply must tell the "truth."

The Drowning Man in the Sea

THE DROWNING MAN IN THE SEA

Imagine the scene for a moment…

A man begins his refreshing swim in the sea. He walks steadily into the sea from the beach area. As he does so, the water begins to move upwards, starting from his feet, until his knees… to his body. As the man walks deeper into the sea, the water covers his body even further. Suddenly, he finds his feet lifting off the ocean bed as he realises that he is no longer able to walk any further without drowning. He lifts himself up, and begins to swim.

Things seem okay, but not everybody is a strong swimmer. Some may be able to swim for longer times than others, but ultimately everyone reaches a point when they simply cannot continue any longer. Before the man knows it, he realises that with his feet now totally off the ground he has only his arms to keep him afloat. He begins to swim to keep himself afloat. Suddenly, his calm swimming motions turn into something different. His arms begin waving about violently as he hopes to attract the attention of others – that somebody should be able to save him. But they don't see this. Instead they see a man swimming. A strong man they say! Someone who is far stronger than the sea itself – they say! Anyhow, he looks afloat and he seems to be doing just fine. He is breathing. He is moving – in fact with tremendous strength! Surely he is healthy!

Then, without notice, the man, unable to keep afloat, begins to feel the first moments of his life ebbing away. Before he knows it, his head drops below the water. Unable to swim much longer, he sinks – for but a moment. But with amazing strength, he pulls himself up again. Again, he waves his hands, in the hope that he will attract the attention of others – who are enjoying their bathing experience as they soak up the sun. They look at him – and again, everybody turns to each other expressing how amazed they are at the man in the sea who is able to keep himself going. He's a strong man – they say to each other, and then proceed once again to enjoy the warm rays of the sun.

Meanwhile, with strength ebbing, the man's head falls below the water again, this time, unable to breathe properly, he swallows some water – and "breathes" some of it into his lungs. He pulls himself up, yet again, his arms now totally out of control as they wave about trying to attract attention yet again… Still those watching admire the strong swimmer. He is surely doing just fine – they say.

Then… suddenly, without notice, the man loses all strength. Finding himself now in the middle of the ocean with nobody taking an interest in him, he swiftly sinks under the clear blue waters. The "spectators" having now soaked up a good amount of warm sunshine – look on, as they whisper amongst themselves of the event just seen. Each expressing their own illogical logic! "He'll come up soon," says one. "He's just doing some under-water swimming now," says another. And yet another says, "He must learn some time soon how to swim on his own. You'll see, he'll be thankful we let him work it out on his own…" Minutes pass, turning into hours. He has gone, disappeared from sight.

Sirens are heard, screaming on the beach – as everyone begins to realise what has happened. The man his gone. His family may suddenly realise this moment, suddenly awaken to the reality – a reality – which of course could be seen minutes earlier. The reality of thinking that the man was just swimming – his arms waving about – just swimming strokes to help him enjoy the water. Yet the truth is unlike any of these people. The man's violent gestures in the water, were indeed nothing less than a call for help. Not a call for attention – but a real call for help. When one finds oneself at the moment before drowning, there simply is no other clear way of telling others, than by yelling (and embarrassing oneself), and moving one's arms about fiercely!

The Torah speaks about helping a fellow Jew before it's too late. "Balancing the load of a donkey, as it begins to fall off, can be achieved by one man… but once the load falls off, even five men will have a hard time getting it all back on again." The Baal Shem Tov compares the body to the donkey as they both share the same root in Hebrew – ChMR. When the "donkey" is filled to capacity, and the load begins to wobble, it takes just one friend to come along and set it back right again. But once the load has fallen, even five friends will be unable to load it up again.

What of someone whose load is not upon him, but rather is actively pushing down upon him from the top – and pulling him down from the bottom too – just like the swimmer?! What will be if the friends take no notice then?! There is only one way to go, and it is not the way of safety. Its way brings one into the world of the water itself, turning the person into the life of water itself, as the drowning man struggles with the ferocious waters, until he, like the waters, rests calmly… floating… a donkey… without a soul.

When the Jewish people left Egypt, they walked miraculously through the sea of waters, as it split for them. And from there, it was on to receiving the Torah itself – the festival of Shavuot.

As the Torah itself testifies, if there is no flour, there is no Torah. If the body is not taken care of (to be able to live!) then no Torah in the world will be absorbed into the person. Instead, the powerful raging waters of Torah will simply engulf the person, bringing him into their own world. For a body without a life in it can rest tranquilly in the sea of Torah without a struggle.

As the Jews made their journey to receiving the Torah, the waters split for them. To have attempted to deal with the power of those waters fighting against the Egyptian army would have been completely futile! There would have been only one direction for them – down!

So too, as we approach this Shavuot, let us remember these ideas. For there are many who wish to live. Who wish to bring the values of Torah into the world. Yet the Egyptians are still around them, forcing them into these waters – waters that do not split too easily. Waters that split only when there is someone else out there who helps the swimmer in the middle of the sea. He may "jump in" – so to speak so that the sea splits for the other.

The "swimmer" calls out as he gesticulates madly that he is drowning… but who is listening?! Do we see the swimmer as playing? As someone not trying?! Or do we see him as asking for help – and come to the rescue… before it's too late?!

There is only one soul in a body. Once the soul leaves it, there is no bringing it back – not until Moshiach and Techiyat HaMeitim. Then of course, we can cry as much as we want thinking of what could have been with the life of this person. Or we can take the call of help seriously enough to realise that our help is not just a little – but it saves a soul. As the Torah teaches – one who saves another person, saves an entire world. His reward has no limit!

How ironic to watch messages as they are displayed each day on some of the many Jewish newsgroups. One person lets others know of his special opportunity – this week only – of a luxurious 7 day stay in a beautiful place, filled with those things fit for a king – for only thousands upon thousands of dollars. While the very next post speaks of a family destitute unable to pay their rent… their taxes… let alone to be able to eat.

How far have we moved from the path of life – the path of seeing the pain of a swimmer – drowning – but instead seeing him as playing?!

With Shavuot upon us, let us re-examine what is truly important, and the necessity to help those in desperate help to simply be able to live – for without this, without being able to pay those most basic expenses, life is simply not worth living – for anybody.

Our duty is to answer the call of help when the swimmer – the one drowning – calls out for help. We can ask thousands of questions if we wish – who he is, what his name is, how much he really earns, does he really need help or is he bluffing etc. but sadly by the time we may finish with our enquiries – it may simply be too late. When another is drowning… when another is chocking, there is nothing else left to do than to save immediately!

We have a number of projects on the go for saving a number of people from the tremendous economic difficulties many are going through today. These people are still not yet able to pay their most basic bills – though they work hard each day. Salaries just do not cover the amounts due – and the large taxes we must regularly pay.

If you are in *any* position to help, please do not delay. These people are drowning and calling – screaming for help, their hands violently waving about hoping and praying that those "watching" will recognise that their moving about is not a game, but life itself. Let us help them to live, so that they – just like we – can continue to observe the Torah and it's Mitzvos bringing further light and goodness into the world – this Shavuot and beyond!

There are two special projects (amongst the others) in high alert need.

1. A newly married couple struggling to keep their head above waters just to begin life together – to start their life and make something of it together. (More info available by request for those truly interested in helping.)
2. A divorced woman battling with day to day expenses (though she works every day for a monthly salary) who must also support family struggling with various medical problems.
3. A widowed woman battling with day to day expenses

These are both priorities.

Thank you for your help. May you all merit "Kabbalas HaTorah BeSimcha U'Bepenimyus" – receiving the Torah (this Shavuot and beyond) in happiness and absorption inside you.

A Healthy Appetite - Just How Much Should We Give to Charity?!

GIVING TO THOSE
WITH HEALTHY APPETITES!

Our sages teach us that during the Ten Days of Repentance from Rosh HaShanah to Yom Kippur we should increase in three things. These things nullify any evil decrees that may exist against us (G-d forbid) that could interfere with a favourable and positive judgment - especially when this judgment is suspended until Yom Kippur itself.

These three things are: Teshuva, Tefilla and Tzedakah - or in English – Repentance, Prayer and Charity. In fact, the literal translation of these words is “Return to G-d”, “Connection to G-d” and “Doing what is right!” The three words used to describe the common translation of these words would be – Charata (regret), Bakasha (request) and Chesed (kindness.) Our duty, not only during these ten days, but throughout the year hinges on us implementing these three concepts into practicality. 

It is doubtful that any one of these is more important than the others, or that one need to fulfil them in the order they are mentioned. In fact, one should be working on all three together – imagining them to be said in one breath as one word (something which only G-d Himself can do.)

The Lubavitcher Rebbe always thought, spoke and acted only in realms of infinity. There are no such things as boundaries and borders when it comes to acts of goodness and kindness. G-d is infinite, and therefore our behaviour has to also be in accordance with infinity. While most of us may feel that the few dollars we give for charity purposes may exempt us from our obligations (even of doing “what is right”) the Rebbe in the clip below clearly points out how big appetites (of those in need and who do even more good with them) can be healthy and that they needn’t be satisfied. On the contrary, to those with big appetites, we need to give more – and those with such appetites never need to feel they are burdening others, especially when it comes to these people making use of their appetites for the good.

Rambam - Laws of Charity 10:7 - The Highest Level of Charity!

RAMBAM
LAWS OF GIFTS TO THE POOR
CHAPTER 10
LAW 7

THE 8 LEVELS OF CHARITY
THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF TZEDDAKAH
TEACH A MAN TO FISH... AND GIVE HIM THE JOB!

“There are eight levels to charity – one above the other. The greatest level – and there is no level greater than this – is one who strengthens the hand of a Jew who is poor, and he gives him a gift or a loan, or he makes a partnership with him or he finds him work in order to strengthen his hand, until he is no longer required to ask others. And about this it says (Leviticus 25:35) ‘And you shall strengthen him – the proselyte or resident so that he shall live with you.’ This means to say, strengthen him until he will not fall and be in need.”

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Could the Rambam possibly have written any other Halacha throughout all his works as important as this one?! If there was an eleventh commandment after the Ten Commandments, perhaps this would be it!

G-d’s entire purpose in the world revolves around the concept of giving. (Psalms 89:3) “The world is built upon kindness.” G-d strengthens man so that he is able to achieve. On those occasions when a man is not filled with strength, he well knows the difficulty of not being able to do anything at all. He feels worthless – continually dependant upon others for help. What good is the poor person? Perhaps on our list of things we most want not to happen to us is to fall into poverty. The world speaks of the upper class, the middle class and the lower class. Those in the upper class are able not only to take care of themselves, but help many, many others as well. Those in the middle class try to simply get by with the basics of life, yet they seem to enjoy a certain sense of satisfaction with worldly possessions. And then there are the lower class – those who are often unable to afford to even take care of themselves.

Naturally there are many levels to each of these classes. Once we reach the lower class, we seem to enter a realm that none of us wish to tread in. There are some huge tests to deal with at this level. For some, these tests may involve the very question of life itself! What point is there in life if one simply cannot afford to live? What purpose is there for a person who cannot take care of himself? Not for nothing does the Torah speak of the poor man as being dead. He is unable to give to others; this being the greatest gift of all. One who is able to give is able to emulate his Creator – the Giver of everything. When one lacks, one feels no better than a stomach receiving food and unable to digest or eliminate anything from his body!

The Rambam begins his conclusion of the laws of charity. In the next few laws, he will enumerate the different levels – eight in total – for which we should pay particular attention, so that we can know just how to give of ourselves correctly.

Most of us find ourselves in a quandary at all times, wondering just how we should deal with our money. What should we purchase with it? Where should we invest it? How much should we spend this month? Perhaps, after all the questions related to the “Me” and “I” side of money, some of us turn our attention to the “You.” And if we think to ourselves concerning the difficulty of how to spend our money when it comes to ourselves, imagine our difficulties when it comes to deciding what to do with money when it comes to others?!

How much should we give and to who?! The Rambam does not tell us how much to give –although the Torah speaks elsewhere of the figure of 10% - for one who is “poor”, and 20% of one’s wealth – for those who are wealthy. In truth there is much to learn regarding the calculation of these amounts and exactly how much we each need to give. This needs to be discussed with an appropriate Rabbinical Torah authority.

At the same time as having an obligation to give to others, we must surely be careful not to destroy ourselves in this process! Yet the entire point of the Rambam’s laws regarding charity is to teach us that there is no way out. We each must give something! Once we take an accounting and a reckoning – much like an accountant would do to work out the tax necessary for each person each year – we must dispense of this additional wealth immediately. But there is certainly good news for us all! Whereas our taxes end up in the bank accounts of people we may not even ever meet or know what they are doing with our money – taking it quite often totally against our wills and squandering it for their own private luxuries, the money we give to charity truly aids everybody! The receiver is blessed with something he so much needs. G-d becomes filled with true Divine joy as He sees acts of kindness taking place in His world. And beyond this, the giver himself will be blessed as well.

The well known story is told regarding a man who owned a very large field. As the crops were harvested each year, he would take 10% of it and give it to charity – to the Kohen (and the Levite – see Numbers 18:20-29) as the Torah commands. The man died, leaving his son to take over the business. His son however, felt that 10% was just a little too much to give, and so he decided that he would increase his profits by giving just 9% a year! The next year instead of the harvest of 1000 stalks of wheat, the harvest came out at only 900. The man was furious at his loss, and felt that because he had lost so much (in spite of his “generous” act of giving) the next year he would only give away 8% of his crop! It seems Someone else was in charge, and the next year, the harvest yielded just 800 stalks of wheat. The man was more than furious at His Creator. Surely he had given his share fairly?! And so, the next year, he gave just 7%. Indeed, the next year following that, the man’s field harvested just 700. And so each year he would continue, until finally he was left with only 100 stalks of wheat left. The town’s people came through to him celebrating his “good fortune”! Meat, and only the best wine were served at the feast on this “festive occasion!” The man himself was broken, as he cried from the depths of his heart at his bad fortune – while the town was dancing for joy! He asked them why they were filled with such joy. “The Torah commands us to give 10% of our earnings to charity, to the Kohen and Levite,” they replied, “Since you are now harvesting only 100 stalks of wheat, although you had originally harvested 1000, it must surely be a sign that G-d has promoted you – and you have now become the Kohen!”

While we do not understand G-d’s governmental providence upon the world and why it is that some have more than others, it is definitely a given, that we are being watched – and that in accordance with what we give – based upon what we have – so will G-d act commensurately with each of us. There is nowhere to hide when it comes to wealth.

Imagine for just a moment the surprise so many of us will have when Moshiach – the Messiah finally redeems himself (may it be immediately!) Each of us will look at the size of our bank accounts, only to realise that the money that then remains there will be practically worthless. The entire world will be filled with every delicacy and delight. Each of us will have as much of what we want whenever we wish it – not having to rely on another human being for help – ever again! Imagine now the embarrassment of those whose bank accounts are so large, that it is only thanks to massive computers that such figures can be stored away somewhere! While those who lack will not be embarrassed of what they could have done with their money (which they lack), those who have much will suddenly realise the tremendous good they COULD have done – but didn’t! That wealth is only worthwhile now, before the final redemption. In fact, it is that wealth that will help the redemption come even sooner!

Of course the extremely wealthy need to consider saving their money for a rainy day too… but how much should be saved, and how much given? It is by no means an easy test! “Do not say I will study Torah when I have free time… because perhaps you will not have free time.” Each of us can excuse ourselves from learning Torah today – because we have much to do. When we retire – one day of course – and *then* we will have time - *then* we will study! Such excuses are no better off than simple procrastination. It is just the wiles of the inclination misdirecting us to stay far away from study. Who knows… perhaps when one retires, one will not actually have any strength to study, or perhaps one’s vision will not be as strong as it once was. Perhaps one will have never learned the Hebrew language, how to read properly or understand the texts. One cannot simply switch on to learning Torah when one retires! Torah is something that needs to be studied every day – even when there simply isn’t time!

So too, with the commandment of charity. It is true, one may want to save all one’s wealth for a rainy day… but what if that rainy day never actually comes? Won’t it be a waste to realise the good that could have come from the wealth one did have?! And so… perhaps when *that* rainy day does come, one may well not be here to deal with one’s wealth, because it will have already been given to those – who may be far less worthy of it altogether!

And so, the time is now. And we must give – even when we feel we can’t – and all the more so when we really can! But just how are we to give now?! And to whom?!

Is giving to the “Save the Dolphins” a worthy charity?! Should we give to the “Feed the Whale” [sic] organisation? How does the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals fit on the list?! What of giving to friends – who may not be Jewish?! There are so many to give to – and we only have 10% to give away! People may pass you along the street asking for wealth. Someone dressed in rags. Another lying on the street lacking legs (G-d forbid.) A Yeshiva student may ask for money to support himself so that he can learn Torah… and yet another person may simply want to start his married life with a sum of money to purchase an apartment! What do we do – or do we simply make up our own minds as to what we feel is best?!

Take care of the homeless dogs, and perhaps this will make for a far better world! Give more to your countries government – perhaps they are truly in need, and with such great work that they do, we can expect that they will hasten Moshiach arriving immediately! Perhaps giving to the fish of the sea and supporting them may actually help in eventually providing food for the Leviathan – that large fish that we will partake of at the time of the final redemption.

Don’t forget, there are hundreds of sports clubs and the like pulling you towards them in the hope that you will take care of their latest golf courses that they are building. Here too, our money can go… down the hole!



When it comes to giving, we have *only* the Torah that we can turn to for true assistance. And nobody says it all quite as well as the Rambam.

There are 8 degrees of giving. The highest has nothing to do with any of our wonderful causes we’ve mentioned. Rather it has to do with allowing another to live – just like we do. And while many may feel that not everyone can own a mansion and the latest luxury vehicle available, if one owns such a luxury oneself or drives one, indeed we must take another’s needs into account just the same as ourselves, because they too are people – just as we are. While we may not be physically able to help another have these things… it is certainly our duty to wish it for them and never to insult them for their own selfish needs (not taking a look at ourselves of course!)

The highest level of charity is to become a partner with someone else, help him purchase a business so that he can support himself, give him a loan or an outright gift! In none of these cases does the recipient feel ashamed, because instead, he feels important enough to know that he is about to embark in starting his life with success.

The Rambam’s choice of verse is most appropriate. “And *you* shall *strengthen* him – the proselyte or resident so that *he shall live with you.*” Rashi says the following, “Do not allow him to decline and fall, and it will be difficult to lift him up. Rather strengthen him from *the moment* of the faltering of his hand. To what is this comparable? To a burden on top of a donkey. While it is still on top of the donkey, one person can hold it and set it in place. Once it falls to the ground, five people cannot set it in place.”

The moment a person approaches another asking for help - *this* is the time to help (even if the golf club is just one million dollars away from completing their latest course!) If one will refuse to help them then, it could well be that the “load” will fall. Once it has fallen, then it could well be that even 5 people will not be of any use to help this person any longer. Life is too short to await the fate of a person in need. We always have excuses that prevent us from giving to the one in need, but what will we say when we turn around one day to see the often disastrous consequences of not having strengthened the hand of another in need? Too many of us know well what the embarrassment of not having wealth has done to another…

Just how far should we go to help? What does it mean that ‘he shall live with you’?

The Torah portion of Re’eh (Deuteronomy 15:7-8) gives us enough of a hint to understand the true value of giving and just how far we should go:

“When there will be amongst you a very poor person of one of your brothers in one of your gates in your land that G-d your L-rd gives to you, do not close your heart, and do not close your hand from the poor person. You shall surely open your hand for him and lend him a pledge – to whatever he is lacking.”

The Torah continues vv 9-10:

“…and your eye will be evil against your poor brother and you won’t give him, and he will call to G-d, and it will be a sin to you. You shall surely give him, and you heart should not be grieved when you give to him, because *it is because of this thing* that G‑d your L-rd will bless you in all your deeds and in all the performance of your hand.”

Rashi asks regarding the poor person – Who takes preference? He replied – The one who needs first, he takes preference. He then points out that your brother takes preference – your brother from your father even before your brother from your mother. And – The poor of your city take precedence over the poor of another city. In a dramatic finale to verse 7, Rashi says, “If you do not give to him, in the end you will become just like your poor brother!”

Instead as Rashi continues in v8, “Give him, even many times! And if he doesn’t want a gift, then give him a loan. Give him whatever *he* is lacking – even a horse to ride upon (a car?!) and even a servant to run before him (a chauffer?)” And once again in a dramatic statement Rashi concludes his commentary on v8 – whatever is lacking *for him*. These are the same words used when G-d created a helpmate for Adam – He created her (Chava / Eve) ‘for him.’ Even if another is lacking his soul-mate, part of the commandment of charity is to aid him in finding an appropriate match! (Perhaps even in helping the entire marriage to take place as well!)

There are always those Jews who wish to be meticulous regarding a number of Mitzvos. One may often see them checking their Etrogim (Citrus fruits) preparing for the festival of Sukkot. They may have magnifying glasses to check for the slightest blemish in the fruit. Their eyes ever so large to make certain that the Etrog is just perfect! They may take great care to wear the finest pair of Tefillin – beautiful and large. Some may be careful to wear even two pairs as well (although very often are not concerned if there are others who also wish this but simply cannot afford them!)

When it comes to the commandment of charity, things are no different. If we want to do things right, they begin with this very commandment – to make someone else self‑sufficient – in every sense of the word. If that means finding him a wife – then so be it. If it means helping pay for the wedding expenses – so be it. If it means helping him purchase a car – and even a chauffer, it seems that Rashi is quite in favour! Whatever he is lacking – that’s what he needs. It’s important to him.

While we continue feeling that the good things in life are only for ourselves, the Rambam and Rashi turn the tables around. We need to look out for the exact same things for others – without judgement. And just as we are particular with the perfection of our “lemons” for Sukkot, so too should we be as particular regarding setting another Jew on his feet – even if it means our taking a magnifying glass to see just how much he is actually crying out! If we help him now – by becoming a partner with him, offering him a job – giving him our business, lending him money or giving him a gift – without having to cause him embarrassment, we can be certain too that G-d will bless each of us accordingly – because in fact, this is the root for all blessing. If we turn away, the Torah warns us, we are no different than anybody else. We are all the same. And just as G-d brings poverty to one and wealth to another, it is just as easy for Him to turn the tables around.

They say that if you give a man a fish, you feed him for the day. Teach him to fish, and you feed him for a life time! I think the author of this quote may not have read this Rambam. He may have forgotten that even the owners of the lakes and the seas (governments?!) have their charges if you want to fish on “their” premises. And so, even when one does know how to fish, even this does not solve the problem of being fed for a lifetime.

Do you really want to feed another for a lifetime? Go ahead… teach him to fish. But more than this, give him a job as well!

Rambam - Laws of Charity 10:6 - Encourage Others to Give and Become Greater than the Giver

RAMBAM

LAWS OF GIFTS TO THE POOR

CHAPTER 10

LAW 6

ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO GIVE

AND

BECOME GREATER THAN THE GIVER

“One who encourages others to give charity and pushes them [drives them to do this good act] – his reward is greater than the one who gives! As it says, (Isaiah 32:17) “And the product of Tzeddakah is peace.” And concerning those who collect funds for charity and similar to them it states, (Daniel 12:3) “And those who teach righteousness to the multitudes [will shine] like the stars.”

___________

Everybody in this world is able to give. Even those lacking fortunes of wealth! Although the Rambam points out in the previous law that there are some who actually cannot give for lack of funds, there he mentions that one can still give through sympathising with another. This law applies when one finds oneself in the presence of another who is in need at that point in time. What about when one is not in the presence of those in need? How can one give then?!

The beauty of Torah is that it teaches that nobody is considered to be lacking. Even if it may seem like one is unable to give because one lacks the finances, one still has the ability to give in other ways. We are all G-dly. We are all givers. Even when one is not in the presence of someone in need – one can still give. Not only this, but his giving can be even greater than another who does give! This is achieved through the power of one’s words.

It is not for nothing that the Torah is made up of words. Words are the most powerful things in existence! In fact, the Hebrew word for “Word” – דבר – is the exact same word for the word “Thing.” A word is a thing, and with it one can achieve everything in existence. The world was created through the words of G-d – because He spoke things and the world came into being. “Let there be…” and “There was…” Through words, one can build up another, encouraging them to do better, or one can G-d forbid quite literally destroy another. This is the power of the word!

___________

MEDITATION AND CONTEMPLATION

ENCOURAGE ANOTHER TO GIVE

Imagine a Torah lesson taking place at your home. The Rabbi ends the lesson with an appeal to everybody to make some donation to aid his institution – to allow him to continue his work of outreach and aiding others. It’s true, you may not have the ability to give. In fact you may have your own charities that you give to already. As you sit chatting to friends in the group, you discuss with them the topic that possibly the Rabbi should have been an anaesthesiologist. He need not have studied for years about learning about the body, because you feel his lectures contain everything necessary to put everybody to sleep even without any chemicals! Everybody has a good laugh and all feel that their money could be given to far better causes than the already “well paid” “anaesthesiologist”!

Now, imagine the same scene again. This time, as you talk to your friends, you discuss how valuable the lesson was – how much one could gain from these words of wisdom, how much such a person could give to others if he had the finances available to continue his work uninterrupted. You still don’t have the money to give him, but instead you encourage others to give – those who you know who do actually have the ability to.

Notice the power of your words in even such a simple situation. Notice how, that without even being able to give directly, you are able to encourage others with the free air granted you so that you can articulate your words. Your mouth, while usually a vessel to receive, becomes a vessel that gives.

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Those who encourage others are rewarded more than the giver him or herself. Sometimes a person lacks the initiative and support to go forwards with a project – especially when it applies to giving of their own wealth. When one encourages another, one literally gives them the life necessary to feel that their efforts are worth it, that they are doing something good for the world. They may even feel a sense of achievement at having now given to a cause that others think is good.

The power of life and death is in the tongue. A person who therefore uses his tongue to give life, is therefore greater than the giver himself who may not have given without the encouragement. He revives “the dead” with his words. He therefore truly brings peace into the world. He encourages another to give, giving life to that person. And when that person gives another, the other is revived too. And so, peace is brought into the world. And each action continues to bring more goodness into the world. Just as the voice of one shouting in a large open area bounces off mountains echoing it’s way through them as it sails through the air, so too do our encouraging words literally cause the world to be sustained – especially when we cause others to give of their wealth to those in need.

Interestingly enough, the verse the Rambam uses to quote from is located at chapter 32 and verse 17 of the book of Isaiah. In Hebrew, the Gematria (the numerical value) 32 is equivalent to the Hebrew word Lev – Heart… The number 17 is the same as the Hebrew word Tov – Good! It is this good heart of a person that speaks words of kindness and goodness to another, that then encourages them to act out on the deed. Even if you yourself cannot give, you can use your power of speech to encourage another. The value of your speech can be worth far more than the wealth in your bank account. In fact, it’s a great lesson for life in general. When one lacks something, one can always give, just by encouraging another!

The Rambam quotes another verse to illustrate the value of encouraging another – this time from the book of Daniel. Daniel lived at the time that the Jewish people were in the exile of Bavel – of King Nebuchanezzar the Rasha. This book in the Tanach is made up of some of the most amazing prophesies that will occur at the time of the “End of Days.” This verse that the Rambam quotes, relates directly to the final prophesy. Since the Torah always ends off with something good, it is most appropriate that Daniel’s prophesy ends off with this inspirational point as well.

“The wise shall shine like the radiance of the firmament – and those who teach righteousness [will shine] like the stars… forever and ever.”

Those with wisdom know that life is far more than just what we have financially and what we can give from that. Life is all about teaching (and fulfilling) the correct values and value systems to others. Although sometimes we ourselves cannot give materially, we can always encourage others. We can teach others, spur them on positively – and perhaps this will result in those people giving to others too – hopefully financially as well. It is these things that will bring in the final redemption – for Zion will be redeemed through Tzeddakah – a time when we will all realise that G-dliness is about recognising the greatness of every other person, bringing it out into the open, showing another that he/she too is a G-dly spark of Divine energy – and that with this, he can do wonders! When we encourage another, speaking words of kindness, we turn the world into a better place. Everybody benefits – and those who have received encouragement will be able to give others more too. And so, the goodness that emanates outwards from your few words of kindness to another – actually reach to thousands and thousands – and generation upon generation.

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MEDITATION AND CONTEMPLATION

TEACH OTHERS MORAL TEACHINGS AND VALUES

Imagine yourself teaching another the value of doing kindness, of giving charity to another. See yourself shining brightly for the light you have become. You are a star, illuminating the world at large. You have become a lamplighter and brought light and life to the world. All this… without even having given one single cent.