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The famous question: Did human beings come from apes, or did God create this world (and many others too)?
The story was once told about the famous Posek - Rabbi Moshe Feinstein. It happened on one occasion that he was sitting on an airplane. On the plane there was a very disruptive young boy who showed very little respect to his grandfather. On this same plane, Reb Moshe sat with a grandson of his who seemed to be showing his grandfather much respect throughout the journey. Reb Moshe was asked how it happened to be that on one side of the plane the grandson showed his father little respect (with the grandfather even giving in to his grandson), yet on the other side of the plane, a grandson would show his grandfather so much respect.
Reb Moshe answered: It is because they believe that they are descended from apes. Since this is so, it is only natural that the grandfather should show his grandson much respect - after all, he is two generations further removed from an ape. Whereas in our case, we received the Torah over three thousand years ago. As each generation comes about, we are further removed from the greatness of the generations before us which are one generation closer to that Godly experience of hearing God and seeing the Torah as it was given by God. This is why the grandson shows his grandfather much respect.
It's an important decision to make that affects our entire lives. Are we living as improved apes? Or are we living as souls from God? For those who continue to believe in the ape (let alone frog) theory, it is a wonder how they can continue to see the miracles of the world and imagine that yes indeed this entire world came about through a non-existent Bang that made life in a most basic form which then miraculously changed over the millions of years where nature became humans.
Yet - for the believer in a God - it is not all that difficult to perceive the true miracles of life as implanted in the world. Here, they are implanted by a Being who has taken everything into account already - to make a world filled with miracles - operating like nature - and allowing us to live as we do.
In fact, it takes a far greater believer to believe that we came from apes, than that we have come from God - as souls living in bodies. In this wonderful video clip, Rabbi Avigdor Miller shares with us one of the most remarkable of miracles we take for granted. The apple - the apple tree - and the pip! Here, God has implanted a miraculous entity which continues to allow itself to grow forever. Indeed, He has also created a ground surface able to receive the miraculous seed. He has created the winds and the winged creatures who eat the seeds inside the apples dropping them from their bodies with their digested food - to continue to implant themselves into the ground. The ground awakens, taking the genetics of the seed, causes it to grow - and another life-sustaining tree grows!
It is not a silver coin inside the apple that makes it stand out. It is a simple seed that for us looks like nothing more than something we'd rather throw away. Inside it - however, is another apple tree waiting to grow.
So too, has God created all of nature this way. The wealth that surrounds us is hidden within nature. It is hidden in ways that cause us to think it worthless and even worthy of being thrown out. Yet, it's value is far greater than silver - far greater than gold! It's value is life itself - the greatest gift of all.
It is there, for everyone - even the apes. Enjoy the video!
Death! A word that conjures up little feelings of excitement – for most. Life – on the other hand, is the very purpose of existence. That word – when expressed in its most fullest manner, takes on feelings of joy and blessing.
What a shock to the entire world to have to see in yesterday's news the death of Otto Warmbier (19 June 2017) – a 22 year old student who had taken a trip overseas to explore life elsewhere, and use it as a stepping stone towards his further progress in life. Here was a young man ready to give of himself to others, only to find it all taken away from him far too early. What exactly happened that lead up to this, nobody will ever know. It seems he had stolen a propaganda sign – though the video footage is by no means clear. Was it clear enough to be certain?
Even if so, has society reached such a low level where theft of a political symbol is worse than the terror we face every day – literal terror – which is rewarded by those sponsoring and furthering its growth continually? Besides all this, does stealing require the punishment of death? Does it require 15 years of hard labour – a punishment that surely lead to excruciating pain resulting in a type of coma state leading ultimately to death? Yet terrorists – real terrorists – are rewarded, praised, valued and publicized on TV and other media with smiles on their faces as the world allow them to continue unharmed?
Korach stood opposite Moshe fighting for his right for power – though Moshe was not only clearly in the right, but offered a path in this world that lead to life. What ever could we imagine the path Korach would have chosen for the Jewish people had he won his right to leading the Jewish people – or at the very least in taking some sort of leadership role? Was he really in it for his interest in the safety of life, the preservation of life, the goodness of life and the well-being of society – or was he – perhaps, only in it for the power and glory he would gain from his position of authority? We’ll never know of course, but one thing is for sure, his plan did not succeed. Apparently God new better!
Moshe stood up for the rights of life making certain that not only would Korach not succeed, but he would be eliminated from the face of the Earth – swallowed into the ground, never to be heard from again. This was the approach taken by Moshe when confronted by the evil scheme that Korach was plotting – because to have a Korach act as a judge of any kind for the well-being of society – would mean that Evil would rule life. Moshe – in full view of everybody – set up a scene that would determine who was truly entitled to the roles of leadership within the Jewish nation.
As society – we need to identify with the wrong. We need to speak about it – actually saying the words that what is happening is wrong. It is unacceptable to simply continue life while seeking pleasure at the expense of life – the lives of others – no matter how or when this occurs. Even more importantly – we need to act to make sure it never happens. It is for each of us to behave in a Moshe-like manner to have no desire to even negotiate it. We never negotiate evil – no matter what it is. We eliminate it. We focus on good. We do good. This never means we have the right to take the law into our own hands. What it means, is to never be prepared to accept the evil ever. It means being prepared to stand against it. It means to keep as far away from it as possible – whenever we can. The Torah approach is one which speaks about keeping close to those who do good – and to staying far from those whose paths in life are its very opposite to it.
It has been a tragic couple of weeks for anyone following the news recently, going back to these very themes – and others! Themes of society and its duties, and themes of cleaving to those who do good, and staying away from those who plot bad.
In one story, a young boy is caught “stealing” a bicycle. Without anybody knowing exactly what happened and whether this genuinely did happen (and again, the stealing and its punishment theme) a tattoo artist took the law into his own hands, inscribing the words “I am a thief and a loser” onto the forehead of the young boy. In addition, he cut his hair short, to make certain none of it would cover his (the tattoo artist’s) “work of art”. As far as I know – having watched the news – the boy has disappeared, never to be seen from again. This is the value of life – where a bicycle can supersede a human life. If indeed the boy did steal, then surely all efforts should be made to have the child disciplined in a manner fitting for the crime – as so decided by the courts. When a person with no knowledge of law and life – is permitted to take the law into his own hands (literally), publicize the event and embarrass a young boy further, it is a statement of society that we are all entitled to embarrass and hurt others whenever we feel like it. Are we then – any better than the boy who stole?!
In yet another tragedy, a young woman encouraged a young man who probably admired her as his “girlfriend” of sorts – to take his own life. With some 20 000 messages exchanged between the two – it seems the only thing she could clearly assist the young man with was getting to value and appreciate that indeed, his life was worth nothing. Death… was far more important than life. Yet again…
Even as he exited his car with the carbon monoxide blowing through in full force – and he sent a message to her telling her of his pain – she encouraged him then and there to go ahead with the “good” deed. She has lost her case in court and will receive her sentence for assisting in manslaughter in just a few weeks time. Was her life more important than his? Was his worth nothing? Are we being taught by our educators and parents about the value of life over death – or have we lowered ourselves to using our technology (which can be used for so much good) to encourage others along any path they feel – even when clearly – it is against the very reason we are here – to live?
In yet another tragic event, a matador is gored by the bull he is fighting. A sport which speaks about the value of an animal life in comparison to a human life. The animal – in this case – is here for all and sundry’s pleasure to watch and delight in – as it jumps about in frustration while the matador prepares to kill it. Then every so often, things do not go according to plan and the animal wins! Then it is a tragedy again. How could the animal win?! “We have lost a true sportsman” – the world will say. A society devoted to pleasure. A society devoted to death. A society that has lost its morals of the beauty of creation – favouring money and power as means of enjoyment – so long as it is someone else who dies. It is that same society that will criticize (and even ban) the laws of slaughtering according to Jewish law – involving just one cut to the animal’s throat with a perfectly sharp knife so as to cause the animal the least amount of pain as possible at the time of death. The next bull fight will be showing in not such a long time – with the arena full… and the animal forced to suffer – all with the permission of the state, yet the country will ban Jewish Shechitah (slaughtering of animals according to Jewish law) considering it to be cruel.
The bullfighting won’t stop. The pranks of children on their classmates won’t stop either. The bullying of elders (who know “what’s right”) over children will continue. Corrupt governments will continue onwards. Everything will always look squeaky clean with all those involved wearing the smartest of clothing, using the most modern devices (because we just must keep up with technology), using the most sophisticated arenas to house all the “evil-doers” to watch while others’ lives are at stake – as long as it isn’t them! It will all continue.
Korach and his crowd “rose from the dead” just as soon as they went down to encourage the world along such paths. They will all continue – unless we change. Every single one of us. Never to allow the most minimum of evil – ever. Never to support it, no matter how fun it looks. Never to encourage it. More – to continue to separate from it – never to even get close to it.
As we enter the summer months, we begin to feel the Chagim (the Jewish festivals) approaching. As we recite Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) each Shabbat afternoon, we surely consider the value of life – realising that just some 12 weeks away – we will all be judged – for our very lives – for this world, and the next. Then it’s Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement, when it will be our final moments to repent and pray for our lives and to pray for life! Here, we consider life! Will we live, or will we die? What is the value of our lives? We read the Haftarah of Yonah (the book of Jonah in the Prophets).
Yonah is asked by God to go to the city of Ninveh and to tell the inhabitants that they are to do teshuva (they must repent of their evil ways). If not, God will destroy the entire city. Life is not worth anything, when it is filled with evil. When it is filled with good, however, then life is worth something; even Evil can change its ways – and it must! Then that death state becomes one of life – and then life is worth living. Yonah, however, is reluctant to do as he is bidden to. For various reasons, he does not want the city to repent. They are evil people who should be destroyed (much like the Generation of the Flood) – he thinks.
God does not think the city should be destroyed. To God, life is the most important thing – right here in this world. He wants a world of life, a dwelling place below – and he wants a world of good. It does not count that the bad is there. What counts now, is turning the darkness into light. Getting things right! Yonah is hesitant and runs away from his mission. Ultimately he is swallowed by a large fish – where Yonah begins to reconsider the value of life. He is spat out onto the dry land and finds his way into the city, announcing to all the importance of improving their ways. The city does the repentance required, changing their behaviour and all the people are saved. Yonah is disappointed – to say the least – in the results. God asks Yonah if he really cares. Is he grieved by the fact that an entire city of living people and industry can be destroyed – “just like that”?
Meanwhile, after his hard work, Yonah lies down to take a rest. God causes a Kakiyon tree to grow where Yonah is resting, providing him shade and protection. The tree grows immediately and Yonah rejoices in its protection from the harsh sun! He is ecstatic now that he is protected! The next morning – God sends a worm to eat the shady, leafy tree, and the leaves wither, leaving Yonah with no shade at all. The harsh sun burns down on Yonah, and unable to deal with the extreme heat asks God (again) to let him die! God asks him yet again the same question asked before, “Are you grieved by the Kikayon Yonah? (the fact that it has died)” Yonah tells God that indeed he is grieved. He is grieving at the loss of the wonderful tree that had provided him shade and life!
God tells Yonah the message of life. He tells him – Yonah, there you have it. You grieve over a plant (much like society may do…) that provided you shade. It only lived a night and a day, but still you grieved over it. Yet with all this, can you not imagine how much I would grieve by losing an entire population – an entire city?! Human beings – who represent the purpose of creation. They must surely be able to do good – when they choose to. And this is their purpose! When they come right – they do good. I want them to do good, because I grieve over these creations – who live many years – providing so much to My world. There were indeed 120 000 people. Not only that, but there were even animals there too…
You – Yonah – grieved over a plant. You forgot the humans. You forgot the animals. You forgot life. You were so concerned over death all the time, that you couldn’t sit back and see what life was all about. Life, Yonah – says God – is what I want.
Embarrassment, senseless death… pleasure at the expense of an animal – or even the loss of life at the expense of the pleasure of those watching the death, or the death of a young boy at the hands (literally as the fingers type the message) of a girl – are not want I (God) want in my world.
“For man is a tree of the field” (Deuteronomy 20:19). Every human being has the potential to bring shade to others. Every human being – a Kikayon for someone else – to bring joy and happiness to them. Let us never forget the words in Pirkei Avot (4:3), “There is no man who does not have his hour, and there is no thing that does not have its place.” Our duty is to see that in everyone – all the time. There is no person that does not have the ability to turn his life to good, to encourage others to do good, and to love good over evil. It must – however – be done.
It is up to us to learn the lessons, because we are here to create a world of life where all can smile and laugh, where all delight in the beauty of what life actually is. We must learn from the stories we read.
Otto’s short life – or perhaps his bitter death, should be a wake up call for all telling us that something is wrong in society and it is for us to avoid these mistakes in life that lead to the death of anyone. No matter how fun, pleasurable, or innocent, something might appear, if it contains within it the potential to cause another harm, we must flee from it immediately – and encourage others likewise. Many don’t know, but Otto also had a connection with the Jewish community. I am not sure of the particulars of his interest in Judaism (or something I do not know about his ancestry etc.) but he had taken part in the Birthright Israel as well as lead (as I have heard it) some Pesach Sedarim. His loss is a loss to the world of good.
I have included a video of Otto which I hope the readers of my blog will find meaningful and that it will serve the purpose of encouraging us to be better, do more good, and live life as it should be – life… not death. Stop all the judgments. Stop the criticisms. See the little good of the other – and do everything to make it greater. There is a Kikayon tree waiting to grow and to give shade and shelter to someone else.
Tu Be'Shvat - the fifteenth day of the month of Shevat (this year - 2016 - falling out on Monday 25 January) is the day in the Jewish calendar that marks the birthday of the trees. It is a time when the sap begins to make its way up through the tree bringing growth and a preparation for the spring months coming ahead - leading to the festival of Pesach.
There's much more to understanding what the festival is all about. Just what exactly is all this excitement of the trees anyway?! What are we celebrating?! In this beautiful video Rabbi Yitzchak Schwartz and other rabbis speak about the beautiful meaning behind this special day - giving hope, encouragement and inspiration not just about trees - but ourselves as well!
What's left afterwards - but to continue with one's Torah study and acts of kindnesses! Contact Reb Eliyahu of Chessed Ve'Emet and book a time to learn online - a book of your choice.
A recent conversation had me thinking about a terrifying situation in life (may we not have to know of it.) The word "destitute" came up. I haven't consciously paid attention to it recently. On the contrary, words like "poor" or "lacking" - words so much more clinical in nature - are more the norm for today's society. "Destitute" on the other hand tells it all - no holds barred!
The Free Dictionary defines destitute as, "utterly lacking, devoid," and "lacking resources or the means of subsistence; completely impoverished". I was thinking of that other cruel sounding word which many "with means" are so fond of using, "indigent," to refer to someone considered to be a lost cause to the world, hopeless, and often even a waste to society (G-d forbid.) At least this is the way I've always heard it in the conversations I've been involved in.
I considered in my own mind the super abundance we seem to be living with, with most people oblivious to the reality of things. Sure in today's times, we are all poor. Nobody has any money. We're all suffering. The cliche's and platitudes continue ad nauseum. One dare never point this out to those making such original, caring statements, lest they bark up another dozen insults at the other's way of living. And then, just after their ingenious brilliance at the terrible state of life affairs, they'll continue with the importance of the next vacation they're planning for at least three weeks at the coast. They'll be sharing how their latest smartphone - just two months old, has already seen it's last - and it's time to upgrade! They might even laugh at their silliness at having dropped the last one down the toilet (a feat I have never understood,) and the necessity of purchasing a new one without delay! But the phone is not the only necessity. Today one needs the laptop (constantly updated!) for meetings, the Tablet (for ease of carrying around) and the electronic book reader - wherever one goes. All of course - for those in this senseless crazy situation of dire poverty!
I was thinking about the "greatness" of our generation today. Many commit themselves to an hour or so a day of introspective meditation. Feet folded a certain way. Hands positioned just right. Breathing - in absolute and perfect control. The relaxation is said to assist them with all of life's trials and challenges and help them to relax - so that perhaps they can get back into paragraph 3 again.
I considered the power of one of my favourite Torah books - Shaarei Kedusha (Gates of Holiness) written by Rabbi Chaim Vital and containing the secrets of some of the deepest levels of meditation available. The work may be a short one, but the effort needed in attaining these sublime levels of holiness can mean a lifetime of work. Not the kind mentioned in Paragraphs 3 or 4, but the kind related to that very word "Destitute". When one can truly understand it. When one can hear it, listen to it, and be so affected, that when one arises after having considered the total depth of despair another may feel when they are indeed destitute - that one can think of nothing less than doing whatever one can to assist them to succeed in life again - to have, just like everyone else does, to be able to live like others who do, and who themselves can become givers to others too.
Call it new-wave meditation if you like. It's something about hearing the reality of a situation. It's about being able to calm oneself enough - not for simple relaxation - but in order to listen and in order to hear the difficulty another may be going through (or if you like, to experience their joy too when the time comes!) When one arises after the session, the reality is so great, that it leaves nothing less, than the need to act in action. This is true holiness. It is true greatness. It is the most real of meditations possible because it affects oneself - and it affects another. It's not just something to think about. It's something to actually do.
Not for nothing does the Torah teach, "Action is the main thing!"
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.
Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.
Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee.
In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.
Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups.
They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.
Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee.
Savor the coffee, not the cups!
The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.
What are your priorities in life? Take some time to write them down before watching the wonderful video below. Then enjoy these words of wisdom that may help place things in a different perspective!
What are your most important values in life? Do you ever stop to really consider what counts? Or perhaps you don't even notice when there's a rock in the road! Others do though...
During this special period of time, a post to think about the value of relationships and what a true friend really is. Of course, it's not just finding the person who meets these qualities that counts. It's about being the person who others see as a true friend. This is what we all need - more than ever - now!
A Friend… (A)ccepts you as you are (B)elieves in "you" (C)alls you just to say "Hi" (D)oesn't give up on you (E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts) (F)orgives your mistakes (G)ives unconditionally (H)elps you (I)nvites you over (J)ust wants to "be" with you (K)eeps you close at heart (L)oves you for who you are (M)akes a difference in your life (N)ever judges (O)ffers support (P)icks you up (Q)uiets your fears (R)aises your spirits (S)ays nice things about you (T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it (U)nderstands you (V)alues you (W)alks beside you (X)-plains things you don't understand (Y)ields to your loving touch (Z)eros out your worries / (Z)aps you back to reality!
A Friend is a Treasure
by Jean Kyler McManus
A friend is someone we turn to, When our spirits need a lift, A friend is someone we treasure, For true friendship is a gift. A friend is someone we laugh with, Over little personal things, A friend is someone we're serious with, In facing whatever life brings. A friend is someone who fills our lives, With beauty and joy and grace. And makes the world that we live in A better and happier place!
Irving Belfer died January 20 2012 at the age of 97. His life was by all accounts a tragic one having lost his wife and 4 year old son in the holocaust. He himself required 5 years of healing in hospital after those tragic years. He lost his father and four of his siblings, who were all killed in the holocaust too. He was 28 years old at the time of the holocaust making him over 40 by the time he had managed to leave the hospital. He married again and had a daughter - and remained married for 48 years! He left behind two sons - one a rabbi, and 2 great-grandchildren.
What a remarkable man and someone who we can all learn from - especially when we encounter our own difficulties, tragedies and terrifying moments in life. Some other incredible people we can learn from are Alice Sommer-Herz and the Klausenberg Rebbe
Isn't it incredible what so many can achieve - even in the face of such tragedy?
This past week saw an event of immense disaster and tragedy. What could be called "the biggest claim in insurance ship history" - over 300 million pounds (money value), went down into the sea. The episode caused the death of over 20 people so far. While a granddaughter of a passenger of the Titanic who lost her life, was saved (as the theme song of Titanic "My Heart will Go On" ironically played beautifully!) others lost their lives.
The story goes that the captain was apparently doing a slight detour in order to salute people at another land point. Just 150m away from land the ship hit a huge rock cutting through its hull, and within no time at all the ship began to tilt and thereafter sink. As for things "on board" it seems the captain had chosen not to signal that anything was amiss... until some 40 minutes later! With thanks to the mobile phones of passengers, other help was already underway. The "Captain" meanwhile seems to have been preoccupied with "business" in seeing to the "safety" of those "in need" and was caught up in the tilt of the ship, sliding down himself - neatly, into a lifeboat that just happened to be underneath him. (It does bear a resemblance to Haman conveniently finding himself upon Esther on the couch, in the story of Purim!)
What with all the "hustle and bustle" the story continues that the "Captain" remained looking on as "his" 300 million pound boat went under - with whatever else was on board, including any passengers. Who knows the truth for sure?! After all, maybe Haman did really fall on Esther by accident!
But what is the message for us? We must learn a vital teaching, because if we see this story as just an accusation against some captain (rather than ourselves) we may well have missed the fundamental teaching of the Baal Shem Tov, to learn a lesson from everything we see or hear.
The story of the passenger who drills a hole underneath his seat on the boat as they are travelling upon the sea is well known! When another passenger asks him what he is doing, he explains that he is merely drilling underneath his own seat which he did indeed pay for! He cannot get away with his feeble excuse, because everyone is on the same boat. The hole he drills will indeed affect everyone!
But what can we say about the captain?! And who is he anyway?! And where is he anyway?! This weeks very Parsha (Va'Era) teaches us about another captain. His name was Moshe, and he well knew about steering ships. In fact, his ship, the Jewish people and seeing to it that they were freed, was his most important mission (at least until this part of the story.) He was willing to risk everything - even approach the most evil of men at the time (Pharaoh) in order to get what he wanted. He would do anything - and promptly!
Such leadership qualities should be envied by each of us. Envied - because it is vital to take into account the important role of leadership - something we think is the exclusive domain of "Moshes" only.
Take another look at our captain. Do you remember boarding his ship this week? A fine looking man, dressed smartly! He looked like a hero - didn't he - with his "stripes" on his shoulders. In command - no doubt! A learned man. Just how much respect would you have given to him... then?! Of course, underneath all that, we know the truth. We know what was really going on in his head. He was interested in something else. It had nothing to do with his humility for achieving the great learning he had done to acquire a role in life that in all probability brought him much wealth! Externally - a "Moshe" - but internally... Take off his shiny garments. Take him away from his helm - where the superb photo of our hero was taken to show just how in command he really was. Take him away from his steering wheel. Take away his clothes... and you'll see, he's really just an ordinary person - just like all of us.
It seems that honour got the better of him. With a smashing white clean shirt with stripes and maybe even a fancy hat, he was more than entitled to all the honour of everyone who would see him. Wouldn't the next best thing be to show it off, even if it meant taking a divergent course - just for a moment? But then there was a crash. The largest cruise ship in history went down killing real people, frightening thousands of others for life (when it comes to such trips again) - let alone being able to put one's trust in another "captain" again. All - for the sake of "honour" of course.
Without his captain garments, wearing ordinary clothes again - with hands cuffed, he looks like a "normal" person again. In fact, even his facial expression - once filled with ego, is whitened after the destruction this one man has caused for thousands...
What are we to learn from this? We must know one thing. We are all ordinary people - much the same as others. But every now and again, we are given extra "leader ship" roles. One person becomes head of a hospital. Another is given the role of State Attorney. Another sits in the role of administering a charity fund (with millions at his disposal!) let alone those who are independently wealthy with an obligation to help those less fortunate. Another becomes the rabbi of a community. Go ahead... pick your own role. See just how many people may be in need of you - each and every day. In need of your authority - that could determine the difference for you between life and death. Perhaps you think your role doesn't carry that weight?
Maybe our captain thought the same too. He was only driving a ship. He surely wasn't responsible for the people upon it?! But if he would look back now, he would see that not only was the ship a very expensive one, but it actually came with real life on it. Lives, that have been taken away from this world because of honour, negligence and a disinterest in the lives of others - over that "which takes precedence" - one's own life!
Many charity administrators will arm themselves with honour and authority as they turn down candidates literally in a state of life/death. Rabbis will turn away congregants because while congregants may lack money - they have spent years learning, are filled with "wisdom" (thus taking away any need for giving respect to others!) and are wearing honourable garments - a fancy new hat, and beautiful suit.
But underneath it all - is the same person just like the captain. An ordinary person. Granted, the learning has been done and the effort to acquire the post has been put in. But now the real test has begun. Will our new leader and authority choose to use his role for his self glorification, or will he abuse it for his own glorious honour?!
The social worker who feels her life is okay just because she is a social worker - may one day need the help from the very person who currently seeks her help today... Yet while in her position of authority - she is happy to exhibit her glory of being taken care of - while the other is the one suffering. She misuses her authority - and her boat will not float!
The rabbi "leading" his community with contempt at their own losses in life ("Get over it!" "You deserve it!" "G-d has no reason to pay you any reward! "G-d owes you nothing!") - may one day find that his "leader ship" could sink too, taking down with him an entire community, wealth, blessings, and life itself.
Moshe knew about the role of a real leader. He understood leadership. He taught it over. The real captain is the one who can steer his ship with humility. He can check up on every "passenger" when they are in need of it. He avoids the self honour others might want because of their own selfish desires. His only aim is to take his passengers (whoever they might be) to wherever they need it. His learning that he has done, and the role he has been given (ultimately by G-d Himself) is one that must be taken seriously with true humility. Each and every person who boards his ship must be treated with respect - just because he is another passenger - and also a part of this trip... called "Life."
And should it ever be that the captain sees the passengers who have been entrusted to his care (by G-d Himself) sinking... let him learn a lesson from Moshe himself. Let him learn to do whatever is necessary for them - not him. Let him indeed realise, that if anything - he should be the last person to disembark from his ship - even if there is no lifeboat waiting open and ready for him.
What boat have you been selected as captain to steer in life? Do you know your passengers and their needs? Do you really care? Are you more interested in saluting whoever - just so they should see just how important in life you are... or are you more interested in steering correctly, looking after those entrusted to you - who seek your help? Are you keeping your boat afloat... or - when you take a truthful look at your ship... do you see it tilting...? The consequences of this can be tragic... just take a look at Francesco Schettino - and you'll see what I mean.
At this time of year, it's a great time to think about ourselves - and about others. The poem below gives us some insight into the life of "an ordinary lady," who finds herself in hospital being taken care of by the nurses. We have no other info about her - she's not the woman in the picture above... The poem was found among her possessions that she had left behind...
I guess the nurses could be substituted for family, friends or anybody really. Are we any different? Beautiful thoughts to consider throughout the next few days and weeks as we pass through our own days of Judgement (sic). "Someone" will be Judging (sic) us through these next days. How well will we "size-up", as we consider how we have judged others?
See Me
What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me --
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice -- "I do wish you'd try."
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe,
Who unresisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.
Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you're looking at ME...
I'll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still;
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another,
A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet.
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet;
A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;
At twenty-five now I have young of my own,
Who need me to build a secure, happy home;
A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn;
At fifty once more babies play 'round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I've known;
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel --
'Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where once I had a heart,
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again,
I think of the years, all too few -- gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last --
So I open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman, look closer, nurses -- see ME
In today's day and age, just about everyone is an expert about things like life, relationships and dare we even mention marriage?! The average person is clear about life values, what's important, how to judge others (or rather not to) and just about anything that's worthy of being under the heading of "life-skills."
Looking at today's divorce rates, it's clear, "everyone" is an authority about what being a life partner is all about, and how to go about finding one too. Running a Shidduch service and "bumping into" dozens of young (and elderly) singles, I've learned that it's the young who are far clearer today about real moral ethics than the elderly have ever been. They are often ready to share their own knowledge about what they know as being right – whether in terms of who they are looking for (rightly so!) or whether in terms of how the Shadchan should do their job. They are quick to let you know whether you're entitled to charge for your efforts – and even quicker to let you know that you just don't know a thing about life (or them!) There are of course those who are sincere, ready for real life and willing to hear another opinion. (And to those like that, I say "THANK YOU!")
Today, everything is about instant gratification. We're the ultimate "I"nstant generation. Whether it's the latest gadget (that may have an "I" somewhere in its name – usually at the very beginning!) or whether it's simply about the "I"go (sic). The main thing is that in today's world a 56K "I"nternet line no longer does it for the need for speed when it comes to downloads, uploads or "I"nstant talk with a prospective partner (for life!) Today everything is Mega this and Mega that (taken out of the context of MArriaGE!)
The world of Shidduchim has become far too laborious for the average "I" person. In the "good ol' days" a caring and concerned friend (mentor etc.) would take charge of guiding two people to their future destiny. Today it's "I"nternet sites filled with pictures of just about every variety of colour and shape anyone could ever imagine. Clicking on the image will give "I"nstant gratification as one learns all about another person, from their age and location to their favourite hobbies and what they enjoy doing with their time when life is simply too boring to doing anything worthwhile.
The main page of many of these sites sports a graphic or the like, indicating the "successful" marriages made – often in the thousands – luring the newbie into imagining that the fantasy portrayed is the reality. Personally, I've never seen any of the sites indicating if anyone divorced and whether the general statistic of the divorce rate applies to individuals meeting this way (though I do know of people who have divorced.)
Are people fickle though? In setting up our Shidduch database, we put effort into designing a comprehensive questionnaire to really steer singles into learning about themselves and what they want in life. Many have never joined us because they felt the questionnaire was too long – and they wanted to stick with the "I"nstant gratification principle. Speed! If only there was something quick – they said! So we set up a special 60 second Shidduch database exclusive to the "I" generation person. In just 60 seconds, you can find out exactly who you are, tell us about yourself and we'll let other "on-the-go" singles know all about you. Great idea?! Ironically, emails came in laughing at the thought of the possibility of a 60 second Shidduch.
Today – we have both options available. If you're ready to get serious – there's work to be done! But if you think that's funny, you can always join the quick-fix! Of course, if you think that *that's* funny and you feel things should actually be serious, and you're still laughing at the serious system – then you may find yourself at a loss for ever finding someone – let alone – yourself.
So what could we imagine marriage to really be all about? Do we realise the commitment we're making or are we more interested in the quick-fix (how ever it comes about and how ever long it lasts for?!)
Imagine a piano… It plays music. Great! You could get yourself some good keyboards for just a few hundred dollars. Now, imagine learning how to play it. It's going to take time, and money of course. But even then for just another few hundred dollars you could probably manage that too. You could even become good at it. But it still requires some commitment.
Ever played piano together with someone else though? It's called a duet. And now, playing piano takes on new vistas altogether. It's not really all about the "I" any longer actually. It's now about the "you", the "we" and "it's really best that we keep in tune!" It's all about the timing and the time… It takes a lot more effort to play together, in harmony, in time and with the correct rhythm when you've got to coordinate your music with someone else.
And then of course imagine switching roles every now and again?! Imagine jumping from your side of the piano to your partners, as they take over your role – and then back again – yet again!
Imagine though handling all this. And as you change roles (a breather!) you still have enough time for a moment of love. Imagine sharing a touch as you pass each other – a touch of kindness and love as the roles are exchanged. Imagine finding the time for this?!
Imagine – as things always happen – that as you're busy changing roles you collapse! But you still get up again remembering exactly where you left off? No hard feelings. No… The feelings of love are still there. Playing the piano can be great fun when done together. Playing music in harmony with another is a great blessing! And one never has to give up, because it can be done.
Of course, the piano is easy to acquire, and even learning to play it can be done. But doing it all together takes much more work, and dealing with the normal "falls" of life can be quite disconcerting! But when one is doing all this with a life time friend – one might find it a lot easier. After 62 odd years together, one might actually enjoy it.
I guess that's what marriage is really all about. It's about getting the piano together. It's about learning how to play the duet together. It's about changing roles and still showing the love when both are needed (always of course!) And it's about being able to get up after the fall – still with a great smile on one's face. It's not at all instant. I don't believe 60 seconds will do it (though it's there for those who are interested!)
But, as so many young (young) singles have shared – what do Shadchanim know about making introductions today?! They really don't know a thing about the person concerned, nor what's important in a married life. I must therefore take leave of all this preaching, and leave it to the experts now.
Enjoy the video. Just a superficial glance is enough to tell anyone in just a short moment – what marriage is really all about.
What's a Pita worth to you? How about if it were during Pesach? What takes precedence in your mind then (Pesach or Pita?) Is it just "days gone by" when the Jewish people simply had to follow the Torah's rules, or are they relevant to us today? Could the eating of one Pita really make the difference in anyone's life today - even if it were being eaten on Pesach?! How many lives could we possibly save - how much goodness could we bring into the world - if we simply refrained from eating a Pita on Pesach? How many lives could actually be destroyed from eating a Pita on Pesach?!
Do we ever stop to consider the real ramifications of our strength in following the Torah as a guide in life - as opposed to the often detrimental consequences from going against it (G-d forbid)? So many of us are crying out for a better world. STOP THE WARS... we shout out.
The Torah is our ultimate guide to life. In fact, eating a Pita on Pesach can well make the difference to the lives of thousands... That choice (when it comes to eating that Pita then), a choice which shows an apathetic attitude to acknowledging that there really is a Creator of the world can truly mark the difference of bringing life into this world - or G-d forbid, taking it away.
The following story was recently written up in a newsletter of Manhigut Yehudit.
"In the first Lebanon War in 1982, the IDF essentially forced the PLO terror organization out of Lebanon and into exile in Tunisia. The PLO was in complete disarray. One of the prisoners in the Israeli detention camp, Ansar, was a senior terrorist, admired by his henchmen. His name was Salah Taamari and he was a broken man.
In the book about Taamari, Mine Enemy, penned by Israeli journalists Amalia and Aharon Barnea, Taamari told Barnea of the transformation he underwent in Ansar. While in prison, he had completely despaired of any hope that the Palestinians would one day realize any of their territorial dreams. He was ready to renounce the struggle and was well on the way to convincing his prison-mates that they would never defeat Israel.
Then, one Passover, he witnessed a Jewish prison guard eating a pita. Taamari was shocked, and asked his jailer how he could so unashamedly eat bread on Passover.
The Jew replied: "I feel no obligation to events that occurred to my nation over 2,000 years ago. I have no connection to that."
That entire night Taamari could not sleep. He thought to himself: "A nation whose members have no connection to their past, and are capable of so openly transgressing their most important laws, has cut off all its roots to the Land."
He concluded that the Palestinians could, in fact, achieve all their goals. From that moment, he determined "to fight for everything - not a percentage, not some crumbs that the Israelis might throw us - but for everything. Because opposing us is a nation that has no connection to its roots, which are no longer of interest to it."
Taamari goes on to relate how he shared this insight with "tens of thousands of his colleagues, and all were convinced."
Taamari did indeed convince his co-terrorists and breathed new life into the war against Israel. It is hard to exaggerate the damage done by the pita in the mouth of just one Israeli prison guard on the holiday of Passover."
Today's modern "leaders" of Israel are comfortable dining out and keeping "good" company with the rest of the "leaders" of the world - even if it means eating completely non-Kosher. Isn't the main thing to simply fit it, be a part of modern society? Why be different?! Surely we need to show our ability to easily integrate into the lifestyles of others - to become mixed with them, to follow their ways. Surely this will bring peace?
So, what's the value of a Pita to you? Can it make the difference between life and death? Can it make the difference in making this world a better place? That decision, I leave for the reader.
Usain Bolt, the unbelievable athlete has done it again! Not only did he make a new world record for running the 100 metre sprint in just 9.58 seconds, but this past week, he added to this by breaking (his own) new world record for the 200 metre sprint in just 19.19 seconds. For those mathematicians out there, he managed to achieve the 200 metre sprint in just 3/100 of a second slower relative to his 100 metre sprint. For those not mathematically inclined, he was able to run the 200 metre sprint at roughly the exact same speed as he ran the 100 metre – an achievement very few could ever perform. Some of us manage to "keep our breath" for just a certain time, but trying to maintain the same standard for double the distance takes real doing!
So, Mr Lighting Bolt (Flash?) is better than the best – even when the best was himself! In a previous article we looked at how much we can learn from such a focused ray of light. But, with a new outstanding achievement, what more can we learn?
For one as focused as a laser beam in achieving his goal, distances small or large are equal. There's really no reason to feel that one can only go so far at a certain speed. In fact, the more focused one is at one's task, the more likely it is that one can maintain the same speed – even when the road seems longer. There's no reason to quit just because one has past the 100 metre finish line. There's still a 200 metre point, and 400M and 800M and…
Does Mr Bolt deserve all the credit though? Is it possible that there were others who helped him achieve his phenomenal results? Those reading this might think the question preposterous! Everyone can see – he did it… *on his own!* Or did he?
A brief reading of Usain's life reveals that by the age of 12 he was already the fastest runner (for the 100 metre sprint) at his school. It was, however, a cricket coach of Usain's that noticed his awesome speed. He was playing cricket – not running, when someone from the outside noticed his speed. Of course, Usain may well have become the next best thing in cricket… Then again, he may well have only ended up quite mediocre. But someone from the outside saw something different. He saw – not a cricket player – but a runner… a sprinter. He urged Usain to focus on track events – not cricket!
Then there were another two outstanding athletes involved in Usain's story. Pablo McNeil (a previous 100 metres Olympic athlete), and Dwayne Barett coached Bolt. McNeil became his main coach – though was a little frustrated with Bolt's lack of dedication to athletics, being more interested in practical jokes. (Perhaps Bolt could even have become the next best comedian, made it to Hollywood, become an actor in comedy or the like, and made a success this way!)
There were quite a number of other amazing people involved in coaching Mr Bolt, ultimately making him into the success he has become. Outstanding to himself – and outstanding to the world.
Where does this leave us?! It seems that our success is divided. It's made up of ourselves as well as those who recognise in us the greatness that we really possess. Everyone needs a teacher!
Imagine, Mr Bolt could have become a comedian… He could also have become a cricketer. As far as *he* was concerned, athletics, when he was much younger, didn't mean quite as much to him as it probably does today. His real greatness though – as can be seen retroactively – lay in his phenomenal running speed. It was something that only someone else could see though.
In fact, this is a great lesson in life. Each of us possesses tremendous talents in a variety of areas. We are also surrounded by a variety of other people who are constantly taking part in our lives (teachers?) This should not surprise us, as likewise, we too take part in the lives of countless others, each and every day. Our task is to be able to excel in life – to become who we really are. We can all be comedians at some time in our life, cricket players, football players, miniature-golf players too… but these may not be the talents we are most set up to excel in. Parents may think we're terrific miniature-golf players, but will this be best for us when we're trying to become the great people we are – in those areas we are greatest in?
Usain Bolt is not Mr Lightning Bolt for nothing. His name reveals far more about life than his speed. Light, shining from a large source – such as the sun – goes everywhere. It is able to warm the world in general and bring happiness to many. But when that same light is focused (correctly!) into a thin laser beam, with all of it's power in one line, it becomes a most powerful weapon to burn through material it could never have dreamt of had it been stuck in the sun! Usain's lesson for us all is the power of that laser beam. The power of being focused – "on track!"
But it doesn't come of it's own. It comes through the motivation and encouragement of everyone around us. When those around us see in us our true potential and support us – even when all we seem to be doing all day is just "running around", then we are able to become someone truly great in the world! Truly great – in whatever area we are best suited to.
While this is an important lesson for each of us to know regarding how others should interact with us so that we can become great, we can take it into ourselves – to see the greatness that lies in others. Everyone has a laser beam just bursting to shine its light into something, to make something in this world even greater and better! But being young, immature, and perhaps not knowledgeable enough, we might not be able to express ourselves correctly. What's needed is for someone else to come around and point it out to us. Not to just point it out, but to make it happen. Our job then is to see this bursting light in others, and to bring it out into the forefront.
Most of the worlds greatest of the great have become what they did because they had a teacher behind them, coaching them along the way. This person may have been greater, but very often was not. He was just someone who could see the greatness of the other, to help him draw out of himself what was resting their all along.
Our job is to be prepared to be the "coach" for every other single person in this world, whenever they need it – to make them realise their greatness, and to help them along until they reach it. And even when it seems that we know better than they what is good for them, our job is to still see the greatness and talent that *they* have – and to support them in that. Once the support is given in the direction most suited for the individual, he will shine outwards – not with the power of the sun, but with the power of a laser beam. Through this, the awesome warmth that will be created in the world will far outshine the sun. From the rays of light floating everywhere, there will be focused light everywhere, with not just those "closest to the sun" enjoying it's warmth, but rather every single person will gain from every other – each contributing what they are best at, and ultimately lighting up the entire world with goodness and kindness.
It can take a Bolt of Lightning to teach us this lesson. It can take a flash of light. It can take the sensitivity of another to simply be there for another, encouraging, supporting and helping them to grow and become the great person that they really are.
Not for nothing did the wisest of all men – King Solomon state – "Teach a child according to his way. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it."
